And then there was you
by findmyway
Summary: Chandler has to deal with a tragedy, but he can't possibly cope with it, on his own. Can a certain blonde friend swoop in and help him get his life back on the tracks? Alternate ending to season 6. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, I was browsing through all the friends-fanfiction the other day and was quite surprised at the lack of Chandler/Phoebe fics. Therefore, I've decided to try and write one myself. Anywho, this is my first ever friends fanfic, so please be kind.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Friends.**

Chandler still couldn't believe it was true. He was currently sitting on the floor of the small apartment, he used to share with Monica. That's right: used to. About half an hour ago, Monica had come over to ' talk'. There hadn't been much to talk about really. Chandler hadn't even been given the chance to speak, as she'd just coldly dumped him. He couldn't comprehend, how she'd just ditched him after nearly two whole years, of them being happily together.

But of course, that wasn't all, nooo! She'd also informed him of the trivial fact that Richard had proposed to her and that she'd said yes. That's right: the stupid mustache-man had finally come around, regarding the subject of children and Monica had suddenly realized, that she'd still loved him all this time.

Chandler sighed, then stood up and angrily pounded his fist into the table. This was supposed to be his night. He was going to propose, she would say yes and they would live happily ever after. That's how it was supposed to go. How he'd always pictured it.

Well, maybe not always. He used to be victim, to a serious fear of commitment, where he would run out of the apartment, as soon as Monica started fondly babbling about marriage or kids. But now, he finally wasn't in that place anymore. He'd finally moved past that stupid, irrational fear and had picked out an engagement ring.

' And what the hell for?', he thought to himself. Then he sighed, cause he really already knew the answer: for Monica, the girl that had meant the world to him. He'd done it for her, because he just loved her so fucking much. He'd cherished and respected her all this time and what did he get in return in the end? Nothing, absolutely nothing!

He went to sit back down on the floor, as he slowly pulled the little black box out of his pants pocket. As he subsequently opened it, he couldn't help the stream of tears, that escaped his normally bright blue eyes.

SHE was never going to wear it. The one person, that he'd though meant the most to him in the entire universe, wasn't going to wear his, carefully selected ring.

Looking at the small piece of jewelry, he only got more emotional. He just couldn't accept the fact that Monica wasn't going to be wearing this very ring. That instead, she was going to be wearing Richard's. That she would marry that bastard and have a happily ever after with him.

Chandler suddenly screamed, not bearing the thought of his beloved getting married to another man, a much older guy at that. He subsequently threw the ring on the floor and crushed it with his foot. " There, Monica Geller: I'm trampling on this ring, the same way you trampled on my heart.", he hissed softly, as new droplets of water, started a depressing journey over the expanse of his frowning face.

He then turned to look at the door, the same door his ex-girlfriend escaped through, not too long ago. He sighed again, cause deep in his heart, he had always known. He had always known she would leave him in the end. That's what all women ended up doing anyway. How he'd ever thought Monica could be any different, he couldn't understand at this moment.

It was all his fault: if he hadn't made all those stupid jokes all the time, if he hadn't talked to her about pig-sex, then maybe she would still be his right now.

But really? Who was he kidding? She'd probably never really loved him, during the whole course of their " relationship." She'd probably always longed to be with the hunky mustache-man.

He sighed once more, before taking an abrupt decision. First, he made his way over to the door, locked it tightly and threw the key into the trashcan. Then, he slowly walked over to the bathroom, as he kept thinking about the way Monica lied to him, for the past two years. He wasn't really aware of what he was doing, as he slowly picked up the razor, laying on the side of the tub. It was like he was becoming a whole other person, when he slowly placed it right up against his artery and carefully started dragging it over to the other side.

A little while later, a still unsuspecting Phoebe arrived at the door of apartment 20. She sported a broad smile, as she swiftly knocked on the greenblueish-painted wood. Her smile slowly faded however, when she still received no reply after fifteen whole minutes. " Chandler! Monica!", she yelled, as she started pounding on the door, with all her might.

There was still no reaction however, so Phoebe did the only thing, she could think of in that moment. She hurriedly pulled out her keys, unlocked the door and practically jumped inside. " Chandler! Monica!", she tried again, but to no avail.

Still getting zero reply, Phoebe decided to look all around the apartment, for clues of her missing friends. ' Perhaps there wasn't anything to worry about.', she found herself thinking, as she threw the bathroom door open. ' Perhaps, they're just out drinking co…'

Her thought process was brought to an abrupt halt, when she suddenly came face to face with the unconscious body of Chandler Bing. "Oh dear god, no.", she gasped, as she quickly strode over to her friend's motionless body. " Chandler, Chandler talk to me!", she yelled, as she started slapping him in the face. " Chandler, Chandler!" she tried again, still receiving no reaction.

It was only then that she noticed the dark-red stains. They were literally everywhere: on Chandler's face, on his plaid shirt, on the floor... Worried sick, she hastily stood up to flick on a light, and that's when she noticed something else: two rather deep gashes, just at the height of his wrists.

" Oh my god, oh jesus, Chandler sweetie, what did you do?", she whispered, right before grabbing a towel from a nearby closet and tightly wrapping it around the unconscious man's injured body parts. After she'd completed that action, she gently stroked his cheek and softly asked: " Why? How the hell could you do that to us?" Then she rose back up and started yelling: " Joey, Joey, get in here, quick!"

**A/N: So, what were your thoughts? Feel free to report them to me. I know it was rather dark, but it gets better, I promise.**


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as he heard his name being faintly uttered, from across the hall, Joey stopped counting the stains on his tv-set, rose from his barcalounger and sprinted into the apartment across from his.

" Hello?!", he yelled, as soon as he'd entered the flat.

" Joey, I'm in here!", the person, currently still unfamiliar to him, shouted.

" Hey, who is that?! You're really starting to freak me out here!", Joey retorted, as he started looking around the room in a confused daze.

" Oh, for the love of god, Joseph! It's me, Phoebe! I'm in the bathroom! There's something wrong with Chandler!", Phoebe clarified, on a frustrated tone.

" What's the matter with him this time? Is he chickening out again? Why doesn't he just propose to her already? I told him time and time again to ma…", Joey rambled, suddenly stopping his rant as he walked into the bathroom and saw the condition his best friend was in.

" Oh my god, what happened to him?!", he asked in sheer shock, while kneeling down beside the still eerily silent Chandler.

" He… he slit his wrists, Joey. I think he tried to… tried to kill himself.", Phoebe explained in a hoarse voice, fighting to hold back the tears.

" What?! But that can't be. He… he wouldn't… he would never.", Joey muttered, in sheer disbelief.

" It's true, Joey. Just look at him, if you don't believe me.", Phoebe said, as she bent her head low, in an attempt to hide her wet cheeks.

Joey then did as he was told, as he cautiously approached his friend's unmoving body and took a closer look at him. When he subsequently saw the highly noticeable bloodstains on the white towel, he started to feel sick.

" Joey, Joey are you okay? You've gone all pale.", Phoebe inquired, placing a comforting hand upon his shoulder.

" Oh… Pheebs, I don't think I…", Joey managed to bring out,right before he fainted, hitting his head against the door, in the process.

" Oh, that's just great.", Phoebe muttered to herself, before slowly dragging the unconscious Joey from the bathroom and lifting him up unto the couch. " You are in fact utterly useless in case of an emergency, Joseph Tribbiani.", she said softly. Then, she remembered how he'd hit the door and she quickly ran a hand over his head, to check for injuries.

" It's just a tiny bump, nothing to worry about.", she reassured her passed out friend. Then she sighed, as she took out her cell and called 911. ' This is what I should've done in the first place. I only hope that it isn't too late.', she found herself thinking, as she anxiously waited for someone to pick up.

After she'd informed the paramedics, Phoebe rushed back over to Chandler's side and checked his pulse again. " Thank god, you still have an heartbeat.", she said to him, as she softly stroked his hair. A part of her secretly hoped, that just the sound of a familiar voice, would be enough to wake him up. Chandler still wasn't responding though, and Phoebe only started to become more and more freaked-out, as she waited for the ambulance to arrive.

" What the hell is taking these guys so long?", she asked herself out loud, as she cautiously started removing the tightly knot towel, from Chandler's wrists.

She subsequently tore off the sleeve of her new shirt and ripped it in half. The fancy t-shirt was her most prized item of clothing, but when her friend's life was hanging in the balance like this, she knew what her priorities were.

" There you go, Chan-Chan-man.", she smiled, as she tied the pieces of cloth round both of his wrists.

After she had finished tending to his wrists, she started throwing random towels on the floor, piling them up, until she'd created something of a made-believe bed. Then, she gently laid Chandler's body down on top of the recently washed cotton textile and went to sit beside him again.

" Don't worry, Chandler. They'll get here soon and they're gonna make you all better alright?", she whispered, grabbing a tight hold of the unusually weak hand.

She sat by his side for quite a while, until she remembered something else: she still hadn't the faintest idea where Monica was. She hurriedly got back up and walked back into the living room, where she now spotted a crushed engagement ring, lying on the floor.

" My lord, what the hell happened in here?", she said to herself. Fearing the worst, she swiftly strode over to the bedroom, walked in and and started opening random closets.

That's when she saw that everything belonging to Monica, had suddenly disappeared. She sighed, as this only confirmed her worst suspicion: Monica had left him! She'd left Chandler! She gasped, as she finally connected all the dots.

Not really knowing what else to do, she finally took out her phone again and called Ross and Rachel.

" Hey, uhm Ross, I kinda need to tell you something. It's uh… it's about Chandler and Monica."


	3. Chapter 3

Phoebe was sitting in the waiting room anxiously pending the arrival of Ross and Rachel. She'd been in the hospital for nearly half an hour now and it was already proving to be very nerve-wrecking for her. She and Joey had been forced to say their goodbyes, a while ago, to a then barely conscious Chandler, when they'd wheeled him into an O.R. for immediate treatment.

She hadn't left him without muttering a few words of encouragement, into his ear. She knew Chandler hadn't really picked up on them, but she just wanted to be there for him in every possible way. Since she didn't exactly study medicine, she figured she could at least support him in an emotional way.

Joey hadn't uttered a single word to Chandler. He'd still been too stunned, so he'd just stood by and watched him with Phoebe, a stray tear making its way down his cheek, in the process.

Since then, it had been a long droning wait for more news. As time went on, Phoebe only started becoming more concerned. She could only hope that no news, meant good news, cause if Chandler wouldn't survi… she didn't finish that last thought, as it was simply too horrible to even imagine such a thing. Plus, when she started pondering the possibility of him dying, she would start to cry and she needed to stay strong right now, for herself, but mainly for Joey.

' Joey," she thought, sighing as she looked over at the lifeless form of her best friend, currently slumped down into a tiny black, plastic chair. He wasn't holding up too well. After he'd finally regained consciousness, a while ago and had properly come to terms with the seriousness of the situation, he had begun to cry his eyes out, and he hadn't stopped until Chandler was safely in that operation room.

" Phoebe?" he suddenly asked, pulling her from her musings.

She sighed, before dignifying him with an answer: " Yes, Joey?"

" Is Chandler going to be okay?"

" I honestly don't know," she said softly, avoiding his gaze, as she could practically hear the tears in his voice. She didn't exactly feel good about not reassuring him, but it would make her feel even worse if she'd given a positive answer to his question. Joey was never going to forgive her, if she said yes and Chandler wouldn't make it in the end.

" I can't believe he really did that," Joey stated hoarsely, as he started crying yet again. " I just… I really hope that he's gonna be alright. I can't… I can't go on without Chandler. I mean: he's my…" he uttered, not being able to finish his sentence, because of the upcoming sobs."

Seeing him break down like that, proved to finally be enough for Phoebe, as she too burst out into tears. It broke her heart to see Joey like this. He always reminded her of an innocent little boy, whenever he started to weep. " I know honey, I know," she cooed, embracing him and rubbing soothing circles on his back. " We'll all get through this, I promise."

She abruptly halted her actions and gently broke away from him, when she saw the on-call doctor approaching. " Miss Buffay?" he spoke softly, taking off his glasses, as he focused his gaze on her.

" Yes?" she asked, fearing the worst. The man's cold facial expression wasn't exactly doing much to comfort her.

" We've successfully managed to refurbish the damage done to Mr. Bing's circulatory system. During the operation itself, we quickly established it was less severe, than we initially thought. He has in fact been slicing through the artery, but the cuts turned out to be rather superficial. Mr. Bing did however lose large quantities of blood, due to the amount of time that went by between the cutting and the actual operation. Therefore, he needs his rest today. You can come back to visit him tomorrow morning. He'll already be feeling much better then."

" Okay, thank you," Phoebe said, smiling brightly. She continued smiling, even after the surgeon had left. She was just so ecstatic that Chandler was still among them.

" What, what did he say?" Joey asked, getting up from his seat and walking towards her, already displaying a hint of happiness in his facial expression.

" He is going to be okay, Joey!" Phoebe exclaimed enthusiastically, pulling her friend in for a big bear hug.

" Really? That's so awesome!" Joey yelled, grabbing an even tighter hold of Phoebe.

Just then, the doors to the main entrance slid open and in came Ross and Rachel. " Where's the reception desk? Do you see the reception desk?" Ross asked, looking from side to side, while slightly panting. This due to the fact, that he and Rachel had both been running on their way there.

" Jesus Ross, calm down for a second. It's just over there," Rachel explained, gesturing to the bureau almost right in front of their noses.

" Calm down, calm down. You're the one that broke all traffic regulations, smashing the gas like a nut!" the paleontologist yelled heatedly, jabbing his friend in the stomach

" Hey, come on that's not fair. We were already late, I was just trying to not delay us even further. And excuse me for taking the wheel from you. You were obviously on a roll driving thirty miles an hour, slowpoke!"

" Hey, I'm just careful okay, CAREFUL! Ever heard of that word, Greene?!

Meanwhile Phoebe slowly released Joey, as she recognized her friends' voices. " Joey, come on. I have a feeling the others are right round the corner,", she brought out, pulling her friend along with her as she went on her way.

" And if someone hadn't wanted to stop for donuts on our way over, maybe we would've made it in time!"

" Hey, I was hungry! I hadn't eaten in three ho…" Ross brought out, quickly bringing the sentence to an end when he saw his other friends.

" Pheebs, Joey, hey. How is he?" he asked, after he'd gotten closer to them.

" He's going to be fine. The cuts were less deep than they first thought. He hasn't destroyed anything vital. Chandler's gonna live!" Phoebe announced, as she cheerily began jumping up and down.

" Oh thank god," Rachel and Ross muttered at the same time.

" So… what are we all waiting for? Let's hug!" Phoebe hollered.

So that's what they did, all hugging each other in turns, as they exchanged happy smiles and cried tears of joy.

They were just having a group hug, when all of a sudden the last person Phoebe wanted to see, came walking into the corridor.

" Monica?!", she shouted in both anger and disbelief, throwing her former friend a dirty look that really totally said it all.

**A/N: Ooh, what's gonna happen next? A catfight or a reconciliation? Wanna find out? Then stay tuned for your daily episode of my newly invented soap. And oh, in the meantime: please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

" What the hell are you doing here?!" Phoebe yelled at Monica, firmly keeping her distance from the person that had ruined Chandler's life. " What the hell is she doing here?" she softly repeated her question, to the others.

" Relax Pheebs, I called her. I just figured she needed to know," Ross retorted calmly.

" Oh my god, I can't believe that you would do that," Phoebe hissed, as she sent her friend a disapproving look.

" Okay Phoebe, honey, try to look at this in perspective, okay. Monica is still Ross's sister and she used to be Chandler's girlfriend. I'm sure she feels just as bad as the rest of us, about Chandler nearly… nearly, well you know," Rachel came between, not daring to use the proper term for the awful thing one of her best friends had tried to do to himself.

" I don't care how she feels. She broke up with him, when he was going to propose to her. She doesn't deserve any of our kindness, right now."

" Can I just chip in for a moment there?" Monica suddenly asked, coming up from behind Ross.

" Whatever," Phoebe stated indifferently, crossing her arms and focusing her gaze firmly on the ceiling.

" I uh… I couldn't help but overhear what you were saying, since I was well... listening. I only have one thing to add: I never knew he was actually planning to propose to me. I just came from Richard's house and on the way back to our apartment, I had made my decision about leaving him. Then, I came home and saw all these candles, but I never really gave him a chance to talk."

" Oh, so you were sleeping with Richard, while Chandler was setting things up to propose to you?! Let me tell you something, Monica Geller. Things aren't exactly looking too good for you, right now," Phoebe declared furiously. She just couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Then, Joey decided to make matters even worse, when he exclaimed: " Oh my god, you have a ring on your finger! Guys, she has a ring on her finger and it's not Chandler's!"

This statement caused the whole gang to look at Monica in sheer indignance, as none of them knew about her current status yet.

" Yes, uhm… perhaps I should've told all of you this earlier, but I'm engaged to Richard now," Monica admitted shyly, staring down at the floor in embarrassment.

" What?!" the other four yelled simultaneously. Shock now making an unwelcome appearance, on their previously happy faces.

" How could you do that to him, Monica?" Ross asked, as he sent his sister an extremely disappointed look, that went right to the core of her soul.

" Guys, I never thought that he would do this! Please try and understand!" she tried, but none of her friends were even looking at her, at this point.

" Get the fuck out," Phoebe broke the eerie silence, sending her former friend a glare that could freeze the desert over.

" Phoebe, please."

" Don't look at me, don't talk to me, just get the hell out of here," she continued icily.

" Guys, come on! You've got to let me stay. I'm just as concerned for Chandler's wellbeing as you all are!" Monica pleaded.

" Rachel?"

Rachel cleared her throat, then announced softly: " I'm sorry Mon, but I'm with Phoebe on this one. What you did is just… I don't have any words for it."

" Yeah, I'm with Phoebe too," Joey added.

" So am I," Ross finalized.

" Oh come on! Ross, I am your sister!"

Her brother only shook his head. " Just leave, Monica. Nobody wants you here right now."

And that little phrase finally proved enough for the youngest of the Geller siblings, as she went on her way.

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S . F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S . F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

The next day, Phoebe had already gotten up at nine to be with Chandler, as soon as possible. His suicide-attempt had evoked an emotion inside of her that she'd thought long dead.

Now, as she was standing by his bedside, she couldn't help but feel every bit as bad, as she'd felt upon first finding him. He was still sleeping and his closed eyes and unmoving form, only brought back more of the dreadful memories from the night before.

" Oh, Chandler, I'm so glad you're okay," she spoke quietly, as she went to sit in the chair beside his bed.

" You had us all very very worried, you do realize that don't cha, Mr. Bing?" she asked, while grabbing a firm, yet gentle hold of his hand.

" I want to tell you something, Chandler and I think it'd be for the best if you just kept on snoozing during this. Because I'm about to get really sappy, and we all know that Phoebe Buffay doesn't do sappy," she announced, smiling slightly.

Then she cleared her throat, fixed her eyes on his peaceful face and began her story.

" Okay, here I go, so first of all: I'm very sorry for having been so mean to you in the past two years. You should know that I never meant a single word, when I insulted you in every way possible. Truth of the matter is, Chandler: I was actually upset. Yeah, I was upset, cause ever since you started dating Monica, our friendship kind of died a little bit."

" We used to be able to tell each other everything and we used to be so close, but then you and Monica became serious and you didn't have as much time for me anymore."

" And I know this sounds incredibly, incredibly selfish, Chandler, but I've got to admit I was a little jealous of her. She got to do all kinds of nice things with you, while you had way less attention for me. The six of us still hung out, sure, but it was never the same as before."

Phoebe sighed and took a little pause, as she sipped her coffee. Getting up at nine had been a real killer.

" And I have tried Chandler, I really have tried. I wanted to be all happy for you and Monica. After all, the two of you used to make quite an awesome pair. But deep in my heart, there was always that nagging sadness. The sadness over what she had and what I was missing: your love."

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S . F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S . F.R.I.E.N.D.S. **

..our love," was the first thing Chandler heard, as he slowly blinked and stared up at the ceiling. He then carefully turned his head and his eyes blurrily made out a halo of blonde hair, framing a very familiar face.

" So there, I…. oh my god hey! You're awake!" Phoebe exclaimed, nearly crushing Chandler, as she pulled him into a tight hug.

" Pheebs? What are you… what are you doing here?" the recently awakened man uttered faintly, squeezing his eyes shut, against the brightness of the ceiling lights.

**A/N: Yes, our favorite master of sarcasm and wit has finally awakened! And let me tell you something: reviewing on this chapter, will only make him stronger!**


	5. Chapter 5

" Well, I'm here to visit you, silly. You're in the hospital, remember?"

" So, I guess I made it through huh?" Chandler asked sadly.

" You sure did and we're all very happy about that," Phoebe stated cheerily.

Her friend only sighed, then announced: " Well, I'm not." Then he aggressively slammed his hand down onto the mattress, effectively scaring Phoebe. " God damn it, I tried to kill myself and I can't even do that right! I can't do anything! I can't keep a woman, I can't propose... I... I"

" Hey, that is not true. Chandler, please stop telling yourself that." His friend assured him, as she gently stroked his hair.

" Yes it is, I'm a loser, a total stupid, lonely loser," Chandler uttered miserably, while a tear slowly made its way down his face.

" No, no you're not, you listen to me, Chandler Bing and I'm only telling you this, cause it's the truth: " You are the single most funny and sweet guy I have ever met," Phoebe brought out truthfully.

" You… you really think so?" he asked uncertainly, surprised by the mere fact that those encouraging words had just come from Phoebe's mouth. He'd always thought she didn't really like him that much. Well maybe not always. There had been a time where they had gotten along pretty well, but that had been years ago.

" Yes, I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was true, Chandler. You know me, I'm always honest."

For a while everything was silent, until Chandler suddenly announced: " I want a new haircut."

" What?" Phoebe asked, on a confused tone. What did his hair have to do with anything?

" I want a new haircut, cause this one only reminds of Monica. She insisted I'd have my hair done this way, cause she liked it so much. If I were to look in the mirror now, I know for sure that I'd start feeling depressed again, just from looking at my hair."

" Oh, oh right I understand. You want me to cut it again, like I did a couple of years ago?" Phoebe inquired, suddenly getting his discomfort caused by the way his hair was done.

" Yeah, actually, that's quite a good idea! I rather liked the way you did it back then, do you think you can get it exactly the same?"

" Oh please, it's me. Never question the abilities of a real Buffay."

" Thanks Pheebs," Chandler stated softly, as he grabbed a gentle hold of her hand.

" What for?"

" For taking me to the hospital, for visiting me… for everything," he explained sincerely.

" It was nothing, Chandler. Rachel, Joey or Ross would've done just the same thing, if they'd found you lying there."

" Still, thank you. I really didn't deserve saving. I'm a stupid idiot."

"Phoebe slapped him on the chest, then exclaimed: " Will you stop getting yourself down like that? You are not stupid, well maybe a bit of an idiot, but not stupid and most definitely not a loser!"

" Chandler smiled slightly, then said: " Eh, maybe you're right."

" I most certainly am right, believe you me. Hey, Chandler?"

" Yeah?"

" Were you actually awake, when we arrived at the hospital?

" Yup, I even remember every single word you said to me, before they brought me in here. Thanks for that too, by the way."

" No problem, it was my pleasure. I just wanted to comfort you, before they started manhandling you."

Chandler chuckled, then retorted: " You know, Pheebs. They were not so much manhandling me, as they were trying to save my life."

" I know, I know whatever," Phoebe stated indifferently, as she waved her hand about.

Just then, her friend yawned.

" Do you mind if I go back to sleep now? I'm still pretty tired."

" Sure, shall I fluff your pillow?"

" Sure, go ahead."

" There you go, all fluffed-up," Phoebe joked, after she'd placed the pillow behind his head again.

" Thanks, that actually does feel better," Chandler smiled, as he leaned back, against the soft, linen material.

" Well, if you're going back to sleep, I think I'll be heading back home. The others will probably be over in a couple of hours. Call me if you need anything."

" That I will do, thank you, bye." he stated, as he started waving at her.

" Bye, take care," Phoebe retorted, waving right back. Then, she left the room with a contented smile on her face.

**A/N: A bit short, but hopefully still enjoyable. I do realize Phoebe is a bit OOC in this fic, but I was trying to write her in accordance to the Phoebe we saw in earlier seasons. She seemed a lot nicer back then.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chandler had only just woken up from a revitalizing nap, when the door to his room opened for a third time.

" Hey, you're up!" Joey exclaimed happily, as he quickly took the chair nearest to the bed.

" Hey honey, I brought you some grapes," Rachel added, before placing down a little brown bag on his nightstand.

" Those are mine actually, Rachel stole them from me, when I wasn't looking," Ross corrected.

" Those are mine actually, bla bla bla," his ex-girlfriend mocked him.

" Hey, come on you guys. The last thing Chandler needs right now, is the two of you arguing," Joey reprimanded, finally acting like a grown-up for once.

" You're right: I'm sorry Chandler."

" Yeah, so am I," Ross added, an embarrassed look edged onto his face.

" Eh, I don't mind. I'm pretty used to you guys doing it."

" Yes… but still, we're sorry. How are you feeling, sweetie?" Rachel asked, as she too went to take her place, beside Chandler's bed.

Her friend let out a loud sigh, then asked: " Physically or emotionally? Cause, let me tell you that emotionally, I'm very convincingly acting out the part of a devastated wreck of a human being."

" Oh, honey come here," Rachel cooed, right before bending over the bed, to envelope him in a gentle hug.

" How could… why did she do that? Just when I was about to propose to her. I mean really: couldn't she have a picked any other day?" Chandler asked, while he started to cry heartbrokenly into his friend's neck.

" Chandler, it'll be okay, it's going to take some time, but things are all going to fall back into place."

" No they aren't: Monica left me, the love of my life left me: for that annoying, old, conniving mustached bastard! I mean, can you believe it?! Last year in Vegas, she told me she didn't love him anymore, and now she's just going to marry that fucking guy!" he yelled, as he hastily pushed Rachel backwards.

" Hey man, calm down. I know you don't believe me right now, but you're going to find someone new. Someone who does deserve your love. Someone who can truly make you happy and accepts you for the awesome dude that you are," Ross assured, as he went too stand behind Joey.

" Yeah, Ross is right. You are way too good for her, man," Joey agreed.

" Thanks guys. I really don't deserve all of your kindness," Chandler smiled, while sitting up a little straighter in his bed.

" Yes, yes you do," Ross stated sincerely, as he reached down to pat his friend on the upper leg, or at least that's what he assumed it was.

" Hey Ross, I know we're close and everything, but… what the hell are you doing, dude?"

" I was patting you on the leg."

" That uh… that is not my leg, man."

The paleontologist cleared his throat, then quickly brought out: " Yeah, uh yeah I just realized that," before hurriedly retracting his hand and distancing himself from Chandler.

" Well, anyway… we're all very glad you're okay, Chan-Chan man," Rachel broke the awkward silence.

" Yeah… look you guys: I'm sorry. I didn't know what came over me. I was just… I didn't know what else to do anymore."

" It's okay, you're fine now. Nothing went wrong," Joey assured.

" And listen… Chandler, you are not alone in this. You can always ask us for help, whenever you feel like it," Ross offered, as he went to take a seat next to his actor-friend.

" Thanks, man. That really means a lot to me. Hey… can I ask you guys something?"

" Sure anything, little fella," Joey suddenly replied with a broad grin, while poking his friend in the side playfully.

" Well, it's just… little fella, really?"

" I'm sorry, you just looked so cute all snuggled up in that big bed. That doesn't sound weird, does it?"

" Sure it doesn't… Josephine," Chandler retorted sarcastically.

" You're so mean to me sometimes!" Joey yelled in an accusatory tone, before he began to weep softly.

" Oh Joey, honey," Rachel cooed, as she went over to embrace the sobbing Italian.

" So, Chandler, what did you wanna ask us?" she asked her other friend, while rubbing soothing circles on Joey's back.

" Well, the thing is: I don't think I can keep on living in that apartment. It's just… I have so many memories there with, with… her. I just couldn't handle lying in that big bed all on my own."

" You can move in with me, yeah. I'm still all alone," Ross offered, getting back up.

" Yeah, that's what we're going to do! It's gonna be so great! We'll become roomies, just like in college! Oh, I can even install the air purifier again, remember the air purifier?!" He went on excitedly.

" Haha, yeah it's pretty hard to forget about that!" Chandler exclaimed sarcastically.

Then, he turned to the others and whispered-yelled: " Kill me, kill me now!"


	7. Chapter 7

It was only a day later, that the doctor finally gave Chandler the nod. He was allowed to go back home, even if he hadn't decided just exactly where said home was at the moment.

" So, you ready to go now?" Ross asked, as he stood in the doorway of Chandler's room.

" I think s… no wait, my watch. Where's my watch?" the man in question asked agitatedly, while feeling all around his now scarred wrist.

" Relax, buddy, I have it right here. Now come on, let's get to my place. We'll be having so much fun!"

" Uh yeah, Ross, about that…"

" What, what is it?" Ross asked, the look of amusement quickly leaving his face.

" Well, I don't think, it'll be such a good idea: you and me together again."

" Oh, why not?"

" Because, uh, well to put it bluntly: I might end up horribly mutilating you with your own air purifier," Chandler admitted calmly.

" What?! Hey, you told me you liked the air purifier!"

" Well, I was lying obviously! All through college, that thing drove me nuts! You're lucky I didn't throw it out back then!"

" Hey dude, calm down. If you hate it so damn much, I won't install it. That way, we'll be able to live together in peace. Problem solved!"

" Oh no, no, no: it's not as simple as that, Ross. Remember last year, when you had to come live with me and Joey for a while, because you were unemployed?"

" For the last time: I was NOT unemployed, I was on sabbatical!" Ross fumed, his face bright red.

" Yeah, yeah, same difference, but that's not really the point. The point is: that back then, we really got on each other's nerves."

" No, we didn't!"

" Yes, we did! Remember that time, when you forbade Joey and me to play fireball, because you couldn't concentrate on your book?"

" Yeah…" Ross began, but he was quickly cut off by his friend.

" Well, that wasn't fun to us, Ross. We need to play from time to time. You know: boys will be boys."

" Boys will be… and you're still wondering why everybody thinks you're gay?!" the paleontologist yelled in sheer anger.

" Oh hush, what I mean to say is: the situation was unbearable: when we wanted to play Foosball, you wanted to watch some dumb show on Discovery Channel. When we wanted to watch TV, you would complain cause you really really needed to enjoy your bath. I mean: you're a guy, Ross! Not a woman!"

" Hey, I AM a guy, alright? Some guys just appreciate a relaxing bath with lavender-scented candles, from time to time," Ross defended himself.

Chandler scoffed, then made another sarcastic remark.

" Yeah, you know what? You're totally right, Ross. Some guys do appreciate it, mainly because of the tell-tale fact that they're gay."

" Okay, Chandler, whatever. If that's the way you feel, screw it! You can find somewhere else to stay, since you obviously don't need me anymore!" his friend shouted, right before throwing the watch at him and storming off.

" Fine! And don't you worry about the no roommate-thing! I'll just buy you another monkey! You know, one that isn't dangling in between your legs!" Chandler retorted angrily to the empty doorway. Just then, Joey walked in.

" Hey, what was that all about, man? Ross seemed really pissed off."

" Oh, I just explained to him why we wouldn't work as " roomies" and he didn't take it too well, is all."

" Oh, then where are you gonna live?"

Chandler sighed deeply, before replying: " In apartment 20 again, I guess."

" Or… or, you could come live with me and Rachel, yeah! It'll be so awesome! We can have a paper towel throwing-contest, we can use the foosball table again…" Joey rambled.

" Actually, thanks but I'm going to pass."

" No! Why?"

" Well, I was just thinking about Phoebe. If I'll go and live with you guys, she'll be all alone."

" Oh yeah, right," Joey brought out sadly.

" Oh, oh… I know what we'll do: we can all go and live together. You and Phoebe should just join me and Rachel. It'll be cozy and fun, trust me. Plus, it evens things out: 2 guys and 2 ladies. When I was alone with Rachel, it was an uneven number of people, so boring you know," he then continued excitedly.

His friend just gave him a questioning gaze, then said: " No, no it wasn't uneven, what the hell did they teach YOU in school, man?"

The young Italian looked offended for a minute, then asked: " So anyway, will you do it? Are you up for it?"

" Well, to be honest… I don't really think that there's enough room for the four of us. It's not that big a place."

" Then we'll make room, Chandler! It can definitely work if we try hard enough. I still have that couch that we can make into a bed. It's a little dusty, but it still works," Joey tried convincing his best friend.

" Eh… alright, but I still think it's a feeble plan."

" Yeah, baby, that's the spirit!" the actor uttered enthusiastically, before crushing Chandler in a giant hug, hereby half-lifting him off the ground.

" Chandler," came a sudden voice from behind them.

The two friends then hurriedly released one another, to verify the identity of the woman, who had just spoken.

" Oh, Chandler I'm so glad you're still alive," Monica declared quietly, coming up from behind Joey, to properly greet her ex-boyfriend.

She frowned, when her happy exclamation, was only met with a cold, almost disgusted glare from the man she'd once loved.

" Joey, please tell that woman to leave," he spat, as he turned away from the woman he'd once wished to marry.

" Monica…" Joey began, but he was swiftly brought to a halt by her.

" No, Chandler please don't do this, we used to be so close. Can I just please talk to you again? Just to straighten some stuff out, please?" Monica asked sweetly, staring deep into Chandler's now dull blue eyes.

The man in question let out another loud sigh, before agreeing: " Alright, but not in here. Meet me tomorrow at two p.m. in Central Park. Either come in time or don't come at all."

" Okay then, that's a deal," she said softly, then stuck out her hand to shake on it.

" I don't want your hands anywhere near me anymore, Monica. Try and understand that," Chandler muttered in an emotionless tone, while stepping away from her.

" Come on Joey, let's go home," he continued, urging his best friend on, as they started making their way towards the exit.


	8. Chapter 8

A little while later, the guys finally arrived at their all-too-familiar hallway. Chandler sighed sadly upon seeing the door to what used to be his and Monica's love nest.

" Hey man, it's gonna be okay. We'll make sure of that, don't worry," Joey said softly, while patting his friend on the shoulder.

" I only hope you're right, Joe," his depressed friend uttered, still gazing at the green piece of wood with the number 20 on it.

" Of course I'm right, it's me! Now stop staring at that damn door and follow me."

Chandler shrugged his shoulders, then agreed: " Okay."

" Hey, Chandler, we're so glad you're back!" Rachel and Ross yelled in unison, as they both went over to hug their friend again.

" Ross? I thought you were mad at me?" he asked, the minute he felt Ross's arms wrapping themselves around him.

" Oh, come on: for that? At first I was, yes, in fact I was this close to going all red Ross again when…"

" Will you stop with the nickname already? Nobody used it in the past, nobody uses it right now and nobody will ever use it in the future," Rachel interrupted, sending her ex-boyfriend an annoyed glance.

" So… as I was saying before certain spoiled, Ralph Lauren minions interrupted me, I was about to go all red Ross on you, when I got this call from Joey saying Monica stopped by the hos…"

" Oh, so you stopped being angry because you pity me? How noble, how very, very noble of you, Ross. You can be quite proud of yourself," Chandler cut him off mid-sentence.

" No, I don't pity you! It's just: when Joey told me how upset you were, I realized that that whole business earlier wasn't really that big of a deal anymore. The important thing is our friendship and as your friend, I feel it's my duty to be here for you whenever you need me."

" So… in other words: you pity me. There's no need to go all full house on me, Ross. You can just act normal, like you did before Monica walked out on me. I know what you think. Hell, I know what you all think: oh poor Chandler, he's such a pathetic loser, let's make him our new charity! Well, I don't need you guys! In fact: I don't need anyone! Goodbye!" the " transponster" shouted furiously, right before leaving apartment nineteen with slamming doors.

" Wow, your sister really messed him up, dude," Joey drily stated, while opening a large jar of pickles.

" Oh shut up, Joe," Ross retorted irritatedly.

" It's true though, ever since Monica left him he hasn't been the same," Rachel added to the conversation.

" So, what can we try to cheer him up now? When he says that he doesn't need us anymore," the paleontologist wondered aloud.

" Oh, I think he's going to find something that'll cheer him up alright, just as soon as he walks through that door across the hall," his ex-girlfriend announced, suddenly smiling brightly.

" What do you mean? Do… do you know something that I don't?" Ross inquired, a look of sheer confusion edged onto his features.

" Oh, I know a lot of things that you don't, honey," Rachel retorted sweetly.

" Rach," her ex-boyfriend whined.

She then turned to Joey, with the words: " What cha think, Joey? Shall we tell him?"

" Tell him what?" the man in question asked dumbly, while he was still stuffing himself with pickles.

Rachel sighed, then began explaining: " About the thing, that is to take place across the hall."

" What?" the Italian asked, sporting an expression of sheer confusion.

" Joey! the secret thing that has to do with Chandler," his friend went on, desperately hoping he would finally get a clue.

" Oh, oh that. Sure, sure, you know how much I hate keeping secrets. Hey Ross, come here, listen…"

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

" Goddamn it, I hate my life, hate it, hate it!" Chandler hollered, as he went to kick the fridge. " There, stupid appliance purchased by Monica!"

" Chandler, is that you?" came a familiar voice, from somewhere in the apartment.

" Pheebs, hey. Where you at? I hear ya, but I can't see ya," her friend asked, as he walked over to the couch.

" Uhm… I'm in your room, but don't come in here with your eyes open."

" Why, are you naked or something?" he giggled slightly, while edging closer to his bedroom door.

" No, no… uhm… it's just… the colors of my aura are incredibly bright today and if you come in here without covering your eyes, well then you might go blind," the masseuse rambled on nervously.

" Oh, I'm sure that won't be the case, Pheebs. What are you doing in there, huh?" Chandler inquired playfully, while he started turning the handle.

" No, no stay away! It's getting worse, oh yeah it definetly is getting much worse! Dear mother of god, it's like a freaking rainbow, I'm blind, I'm officially blind!" Phoebe tried, when she saw the movement of the handle.

" Oh come on! What's the big de…" he began, but stopped short when he saw his room, if you could still call it that.

" My god, what's all this?" he asked softly, completely bedazzled by the scene in front of him.

" Uhm… surprise! It was my idea, not anyone elses," his friend explained proudly, while spreading her arms.

" Wow… it's uh… it's absolutely beautiful, Phoebe," Chandler commented, as he now really started taking in both the new and the not so new furniture in his bedroom.

" There's your BarcaLounger, as you can see and your flat screen TV…"

" You bought me a flat screen TV?!" her friend exclaimed excitedly, only now noticing the large, rectangular object on the wall, the newly painted wall! It was dyed in a faded blue color, Chandler's all-time favorite.

" Wow, you painted the walls and everything… How, when… I don't even…"

" Today, yesterday and the day before that. I didn't go the massage parlor, because I really wanted to finish creating the perfect room for you."

" Wow, I… thank you," he stated sincerely, while wiping at his eye in a vain attempt to fight the upcoming tears.

" Can I hug ya? I really want to hug you," He went on, smiling warmly, while extending his arms to her.

" Sure," Phoebe replied, as she walked right into his open arms.

" I feel kind of guilty now, won't you get in trouble at work?" he murmured into her ear.

" Oh, don't worry about that, I played the: it's exactly twenty years ago my mom killed herself-card," his friend assured him.

" Oh?"

" Yeah, it always works. I just go all: boohoo she was such a great example for me and my twin-sister, I still miss her each day, but on this day it's always the worst. I'm probably gonna need a full week to recover, though," Phoebe gloated, as if frequently using your mother's suicide to get out of work, was the most natural thing in the world.

" Uhm… okay, how did you pay for that TV, by the way? I mean, it must of cost you quite a few doubloons," Chandler joked.

" Oh… Rachel chipped in you know, with all of her illegally acquired fashion-money," the masseuse declared in a bit of a mocking tone.

" Illegal? How's the money she rightfully earned illegal?"

" Oh, don't get me started! You want to get me started, mister?! Really, you want that?!" Phoebe yelled, making him flinch slightly. He still didn't fully release her however.

There was a bit of a tense silence, before Chandler ultimately spoke again.

" Uhm… are we still hugging?"

" Yeah… seems like it."

" This is very weird, I don't think we've ever hugged each other this long, scratch that: I don't think we've ever really hugged before,"

" Maybe you should let go of me then," came the slightly annoyed reply.

" Yeah, maybe I should," he agreed, without following up her demand. If anything, he was pulling her even closer now.

" Chandler Bing, you let go of me, right now! I've got mace in my purse!" Phoebe hollered. Her command promptly being obeyed, with Chandler hurriedly backing away from her.

" Jesus, bipolar much," he muttered to himself, but sadly for him his feisty friend had heard.

" I'm not bipolar, I have principles. Those are two very different things."

" So anyway… have you seen your new sheets yet?" she went on casually, gesturing towards his bed, on top of which now lay some fancy white satin sheets, with a little text embroidered on them.

" Bing… is the… king," Chandler read in growing surprise.

" That's right he is!" Phoebe exclaimed.

" Wow, with a little crown and everything, thanks Pheebs!"

" Oh, it was no trouble, really. All I did, was make up the text."

" I know, but still… I kind of want to hug you again," he admitted, drawing closer towards her.

" Oh, well then I'd kind of have to kill you again," Phoebe announced drily, a happy smile edged onto her features.

" Again? You've never killed me before. I'm pretty sure of that… as I'm still alive and all."

The blonde woman only chuckled in response, then explained:" Oh no, not in this life, but you were really annoying the piss out of me in World War 2, so I simply had to hand you over to Germans," his friend explained, seemingly reliving said past life.

" Oh… your bed is also different, by the way."

" Really, I don't see anyt… oh dear god, what the hell happened to my bed?!"

" R ealItalian craftsmanship happened to your bed, baby!" came a sudden well-known voice from the livingroom.


	9. Chapter 9

" So, what do you make of your new bed, Channy?" Joey asked his friend, upon entering the room.

" Well, let's just say that I was very happy with the changes here, until I saw that damned bed. What did you do to it, by the way?" A shocked Chandler asked, gazing at the new, crooked bedpost and the chipped wood on the side.

" Well to summarize it: Phoebe cut it in half and then…"

" Wow, wow, wow, Phoebe did what now? And how come you are suddenly using the word summarize correctly?"

" She cut the bed in half, you know because that used to be Monica's side and all. We didn't want you to be reminded of her. And I'm using summarize correctly, because I had to know what it meant for my last part," Joey explained proudly.

" So… in order to get Monica out of my head, you people had to wreck my bed?"

" Hey, it isn't wrecked okay! Look, I even constructed a new post," his actor friend, defended their previous practices.

" Yeah, it's lovely, all crooked and unstable!" Chandler shouted, no longer able to control his anger over his messed-up bed.

" Hey, we just wanted to do something nice for you, dude. We didn't mean any harm."

" How exactly does tearing my bed in half, qualify as doing something nice?!" the other man yelled, pulling at the strands of his hair in frustration.

" Chandler, Chandler calm down. I know it may look a bit weird, but I can assure you that the quality is still good. Here, look," Joey declared, as he went to lie down on the bed.

" See, I can bounce on it and everything, it's…" he began to say, right before the wooden furniture collapsed with a loud crack.

" Oh yeah it's excellent. So, tell me Mr. carpenter, where do I have to sleep now, huh?"

" Well, maybe at my place, you know like we first said. Phoebe and I officially intended that to be a red haddock, but…"

" Red herring, Joseph! The expression is red herring, goddamn it! Why won't you learn?!" Phoebe suddenly interrupted, startling both him and Chandler.

Then her whole demeanor changed, when she spoke in a much calmer tone: " He is right though, you can still move in with him and Rachel. I'll be perfectly fine over here."

" Really, you mean that? Won't you get lonely?"

" Eh, I've lived on my own for many years, when I was still on the streets. I can handle it, besides you guys will just be across the hall. And if worse comes to worse, there's still Ross, you know."

" I guess you're right… okay let's start the moving then," Chandler stated, while clasping his hands together.

" Or… or, I can give you my bed, you know from the guestroom and I'll just sleep on the couch. That way, you can still get to enjoy your new and improved room, painted and decorated by yours truly!" Phoebe suddenly suggested enthusiastically.

" Hey… yeah of course, I hadn't even thought about that. Yeah… actually sorry, Joe but I think I'm gonna go with that. Phoebe spend all of her time remodeling my room, it wouldn't be fair to just ignore that and move away from here."

" Fine, fine as you wish. But you're missing out on a great opportunity here," Joey commented, slowly rising up from the floor and wiping the dust from his knees, cursing when he discovered a bruise on his shin.

" Yes, we're going to be roomies! And it's gonna be so much more fun without Monica, I'm sure of it!"

At the mention of Monica's name, Chandler's face fell again, as he said: " I think I want to be alone for a while now. I need some time to think things over."

" Oh… okay, well we'll leave you to it then, come on Joey," Phoebe retorted, dragging Joey from the room by his arm.

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

" I just don't understand what went wrong. It seemed stable enough, when I first sat on it," Joey complained, once they were in the living room.

" Well Joseph, there is a saying that goes like this: first impressions don't say it all. You just think about that," Phoebe told him solemnly, knowing that this statement would get him to shut up for a while.

" Yeah, I will," her friend retorted, while nodding with a smile on his face.

" Hey Pheebs?" Joey asked, after a long time.

" Yeah?"

" You think we can tell him about the other surprise?"

" I'd wait with that, he's still all fucked-up from what Monica did to him. I'd wait until he's feeling just a little bit better. I just don't think, that he's in the mood for surprises right now."

" Okay… well I'm out of here then, I have an audition for a movie in one hour!" the Italian suddenly yelled excitedly.

" A movie, really?! What kind of movie?! You think this is going to be your big break?!"

" Well actually, yeah. It does have a pretty new concept: it's science-fiction, mixed with romance."

" What?"

" Yeah… it's totally cool: I play this alien who falls in love with a human girl, but we can't be together obviously. The story is actually a lot like _Romeo and Judy_, but only with aliens.

Joey then looked confused for a minute, when he saw his friend face-palming and shaking her head.

" What? What's wrong now?"

" It's _Romeo and Juliet, _Joseph! Please try and understand." Phoebe clarified desperately, while making wild hand gestures.

" Nah, I'm pretty sure the chick's name was Judy."

" Oh my god, if Shakespeare were still alive, he'd horribly mutilate you using only his pen!"

" Who in the hell is Shake… whatever his name is?"

The masseuse only sighed in response, then said: " Go, just go."

" Fine, I will. I'm sorry if I'm not as smart as the rest of you, alright? See ya," he muttered, in a tone that clearly reflected just how offended he was.

" Bye," Phoebe retorted, equally frustrated with Joey's lack of knowledge. She really didn't know why she wasted her time teaching him stuff, when he didn't recall a single thing afterwards.

She then decided to watch some TV, but quickly changed her mind, when she heard what seemed to be soft sobs, echoing from within Chandler's room.

She was a little annoyed at first, wondering to god why he couldn't just man up, sleep with the first girl he found on the street and forget all about that bitch. In short lines, that was exactly what she had done to him anyway.

But then, when she saw him sitting in the corner of the room, head in his hands and a large picture of him and Monica on his lap, her irritation quickly made room for pity and compassion.

" My god, Chandler. Put that thing away, you're only making yourself miserable," she commanded, approaching him in three swift strides.

" No," was Chandler's only response, not looking up from the photograph. It was probably also the only word he could form in between those gut-wrenching sobs.

" Come on, give it. I hate seeing you like this," Phoebe muttered softly, attempting to take the damned thing away.

" No… no, I want to be alone… go away," he retorted weakly, clutching onto the frame more tightly.

" No, no I won't go away. I want to help you, Chandler! Won't you give me a chance to help you?" she whispered, as she began rubbing his shoulder affectionately.

" Please let me help you," she begged, while brushing a stray tear from his face.

Her friend said nothing, just kept to himself, bowing his head down and lovingly stroking the picture.

" Hey… Phoebe?" Chandler then brought out, after a long pause in a conversation, that hadn't really been a conversation to begin with.

" Yeah?" she asked softly.

" I'm sorry… I'm sorry for behaving like a total jerk earlier, it's just… I… I miss her, I miss her so goddamn much," he sniveled, right before breaking down in tears again.

" God, Chandler, it's okay. You don't have to apologize, I know you miss her, of course you do," she cooed into his ear, as she slowly pulled him closer, into a warm embrace.

" I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

" I know, it's okay, it's okay," she whispered, hoping to god that everything would go back to normal one day.


	10. Chapter 10

Morning arrived and Chandler reluctantly got out of his bed, knowing that he had to face Monica today. He slowly strolled over to the kitchen, where he made some coffee, some of Monica's coffee. He sighed, cause he knew it was stupid to get all emotional over something trivial as a brand of coffee. He couldn't help it though, every single thing in this apartment still remembered him of his ex-girlfriend.

As he waited for the water to boil, he threw a quick glance at Phoebe. She was still peacefully asleep on the couch and she actually looked rather adorable, in his opinion. Slowly, as in not to wake her up, he tiptoed over to the sofa and continued to watch her sleep. He felt nothing but gratitude towards her, for everything she'd done. He couldn't believe she'd actually neglected her job, in order to decorate his stupid room.

" Thanks, Pheebs, you're an angel," he commented silently, while smiling. He really wondered why she was doing all this stuff for him. He'd really thought she didn't like him anymore. Ever since he'd started to date Monica, she always seemed to insult him or degrade him in some way. But now… now she'd gone right back to being the Phoebe from before. A good friend, who you could always count on, no matter what.

" Hmmm… Chandler, what time is it?" she suddenly interrupted his musings, when she woke up.

" Uhm… 6 am, I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

" Uhm… I don't mean to be rude, but yeah you kinda did. Why are you like hovering over me?"

Chandler only blushed, then replied: " Oh no reason, you just looked very… serene, is all."

" Oh, yeah I know, so why are you up this early? I thought you were on leave?"

" Yeah, yeah, I am. It's just… today I'm meeting Monica at the park. I uh… I couldn't really catch any sleep anymore."

" Really, you're meeting her today? Why? Why would you even want to see her, after what she did to you?" Phoebe asked, suddenly wide awake.

" Because… she really wanted to talk to me and part of me still cares about her," he explained calmly, while attending to the coffee.

His friend only sighed, then said: " I think you're making a big mistake, Chandler. You really shouldn't be with her right now. It will only hurt you more in the end."

" I know that… I do know that, but then again: I actually would kind of like to hear what she has to say about the whole Richard-thing. I mean: maybe she is capable of feeling some remorse."

" Yeah maybe…. Hey, can I have some coffee?"

" Sure, I'll pour you some," Chandler retorted, as he poured some revitalizing beverage in a cup, then handed it to her.

" There you go."

" Thanks, I needed that," his blonde friend stated, ardently sipping the coffee.

" Listen, I'm sorry for waking you, I didn't mean to," he began, only to get cut off.

" Will you stop apologizing? It's starting to annoy me, you know. It's perfectly fine that you woke me, today I've got to get back to work anyway."

" Oh, oh yeah of course… I'm still sorry though."

" Okay that's it, now I'm really forced to take action," Phoebe commented, lifting herself from the chair and heading towards her friend in quick strides.

" What do you mea… ouch!" Chandler brought out, when he felt her pulling at his earlobe.

" What did I just tell you, Chandler Bing? Stop apologizing, it's getting on my nerves! You have nothing to be sorry for, do you understand me?"

" If I say yes, will you let go off me?"

" Sure."

" Then: yes, I understand, I understand perfectly," he muttered swiftly.

" Good boy, that's all I wanted to hear. Now, tell me: where is my breakfast?"

" I beg your pardon?"

" My breakfast, where is it? You know, I get very cranky when I don't get anything to eat in the morning," Phoebe explained, gesturing to the stove.

" I, I don't know how to prepare breakfast… Monica always kept herself busy with that," Chandler declared helplessly, right before bursting into tears, for what seemed like the gazilionth time that week.

" Oh, god, I didn't mean to… Chandler, I'm sorry. Here, sit down," the blonde tried desperately, pulling up a chair.

The man in question then did exactly what he was told, weakly letting himself sink into his seat.

" I can cook something, if you want. It won't be very good, but I can try," Phoebe offered, rubbing his upper arm up and down.

" I… I'd like that," her friend managed to utter between sobs.

" Yeah, you sure about that? I should warn you, though: last time I served a meal, everyone kept barfing."

" Really? Well, that really gets the appetite going," Chandler stated, when he'd somewhat regained his composure.

" Yeah, amazingly enough, I'm not that good at cooking. I don't really know why, since I excel in practically every other level. So anyway… breakfast?"

" No, no I think I'm gonna pass after that funny story you just told me. I'm not really in a vomiting type of mood. I'll just eat a sandwich."

" Did somebody just say sandwich?" came a voice, from within the doorway.

Chandler sighed, then raised his hand and admitted: " Yes, yes I did."

" Oh, well what kind of sandwich is it? A meatball sub, cause I just love munching on one of those little babies?" Joey inquired excitedly.

" No, Joe, it's not meatball sub-hour just yet. That's always after nap time, remember?"

" Oh right, well it was worth a shot, see ya," he muttered, before heading back out.

" Okay, he has really got to stop paying us these random visits, it's kind of starting to creep me out. I mean: I love him, I really do, but it's pretty scary when the first thing you get in the morning, is a jumpy guy asking for food," Phoebe commented.

" Yeah, I couldn't agree with you more, but ever since we don't live together anymore, he just kind of started feeling this need to see me whenever, wherever, you know."

" Oh, he misses you, that's so sweet!" the blonde exclaimed, while making herself a sandwich.

" Yeah, well it's not that sweet anymore, when he suddenly comes by your office, to ask you if you can still drink the orange juice, if it's just a teeny tiny day past its expiration date," her friend declared, on a slightly annoyed tone.

Phoebe chuckled, then said: " No, I guess it's not. So, Chandler, you want to go do something fun tonight? I'm off early, since I'm still officially mourning the loss of my mom."

" Fun, hmm, I don't think I know the meaning of that word anymore," Chandler stated matter-of-factly, while tapping his finger against his chin.

" Oh, come on, Mr. grumpy, get over yourself and go play in the hay!"

" I don't wanna, now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go back to my very busy schedule of brooding and sulking and brooding… and… ooh that's right: more brooding," he announced, as he rose back up from the table an started making his way back to his bedroom.

" Noo, Chandler, get your depressed ass back here. I won't tolerate all this gloominess!" Phoebe yelled, standing up to follow him.

" Well, tough luck, I'm depressed, I'm gloomy, deal with it," her friend brought out coldly, right before walking into his room and slamming the door shut behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Time jump: at the park**

Sitting on a random bench in the park, Chandler stared at his watch anxiously. Why the hell wasn't she here yet? They'd agreed on 2 PM and it was already quarter past now. Hadn't he told her to come in time? It just showed once again how much she cared.

" Chandler, you're here!" Came a sudden happy exclamation from behind him.

" Yeah well, unlike some people, I do actually have the ability to show up in time," he bit back, purposely keeping his gaze fixed on his wrist.

" Oh, please Chandler, don't be like this… I… I lost track of time okay. You'd un…"

" Yeah whatever, well I told you to get her in time and you can't even do that. As the seconds pass by, I feel less and less capable of sitting here and listening to you. Maybe Phoebe was right, maybe this is the stupidest idea ever. You know what, it is: I'm just gonna go," Chandler rambled, as he got up from the bench and started walking.

Monica wouldn't let it slide that easily however and she quickly placed a hand on his wrist to stop him." No, Chandler, wait!"

In response, Chandler only flinched, then placed two fingers over his now aching wrist.

" Nice going, Mon. Now it's hurting me again. It stopped bothering me a day ago, but now thanks to you, I'm feeling the pain all over again," he brought out, meaning the concept of pain, both literally and figuratively.

" Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," his ex-girlfriend retorted apologetically, as she attempted to see just what he'd done to himself over her.

" So, are you going to talk, or what?! I didn't freaking come here to watch the ducks swim around in the pond, you know!" Chandler yelled impatiently.

" Yeah, of course, sure… here it goes. Look, I know that what I've done was very low and that I'll probably never be able to properly make it up to you," she began.

Her ex-boyfriend let out a dry, humorless chuckle, then said: " Oh really? You don't say."

" Chandler, please look at me. Why can't you look at me?"

" Why can't I look at you? Why can't I look at YOU? Really, you still need to ask that question?! I can't look at you, because it pains my heart when I do! It pains my heart to have to look at your face and then remember that you're not mine to have anymore! That's why I can't fucking look at you!" Chandler shouted at the top of his lungs, as he turned to face her.

" God, Chandler, I never meant to do this to you, sweetie. I still love you. You've got to believe me when I say that. I never in a million years could have predicted Richard would suddenly come back, to tell me he changed his mind about wanting a child. If I could go back in time, I…" Monica began, while placing a gentle hand on Chandler's shoulder.

" You CAN'T go back in time and don't you dare give me that I love you-crap! You've never loved me! All this time, while we we're going out, I was just a sloppy, second-hand replacement for your true love: Dr. Mustache man! Our whole so-called relationship, was a fucking lie!" her ex- boyfriend hollered, right before practically throwing her hand off of his body, nearly sending Monica flying in the process.

" Hey, that is not true, okay! I never ever lied to you, when I said I truly loved you. I just… I… some part of me always kept on loving Richard, I guess."

" Ooh, well that's nice to hear. You always kept on loving Richard. You probably fucking imagined it to be him, while I made love to you! You probably constantly compared me to him in your head until finally, you just randomly thought: hey, Richie wants a kid, let's just dump Chandler's ass and say no more about it!"

" Hey, that's not how it went at all! That was a damn hard decision for me to make, Chandler and you know it!" Monica defended herself.

" Oh, really? Then why didn't you tell me we were having problems before, huh? Cause I sure as hell didn't know anything was wrong, up until about three days ago. Heck, I was so blissfully unaware that I'd planned on proposing!"

" Because Richard didn't come up to me, before that day, Chandler! I didn't know about his feelings, up until then. But then when he told me, our connection just kind of came back and I realized just how much I still loved him. And in my defense, I didn't know you were going to propose! You were acting distant all the goddamned time and you even told me you'd never want to get married, while you knew that had been my biggest wish, ever since we moved in together!"

" Well, for your information: I was behaving like that, In order to really surprise you. I didn't want to be all predictable again, I wanted to bedazzle and amaze you. I wanted to make you so damn happy Monica," Chandler retorted, now on a much softer tone.

" I just wanted to make you so fucking happy and what did you do in return? You trampled on my heart!"

" You trampled on my heart, like I never even meant anything to you," he repeated quietly, before breaking down into tears.

" Chandler, sweetie please don't cry. You do mean a lot to me, please believe that," Monica cooed, as she enveloped him into her arms.

" Then why did you do this to me? Why?" her ex-boyfriend muttered into the crook of her neck.

Just then, there was the sound of a horn being honked.

" I uh… I gotta go, that's Rich… uhm… that's my ride," she announced, as she slowly let go of Chandler.

At that, Chandler suddenly looked up at her with a weird look in his eyes and asked: " Where is he parked?"

" Why… why do you want to know that?"

" Doesn't matter, Monica, now can you just tell me where he's parked?" he asked, in a calm tone that didn't in any way match the almost predatory glint in his eyes.

" Chandler, I…, I… don't know if that's such a good ide…"

Monica never got the chance to finish that phrase, as all of a sudden, Chandler caught sight of the man who had ruined his life for all eternity.

" Hey, Monica, please hurry up, honey! I've gotta get to work soon!" he yelled, not even seeming to take any notice of his fiancée's ex.

It was the term of endearment that finally did it for said man, as he stormed toward Richard and hit him right in the face with surprising force, sending the optometrist flying in the process.

" Don't you call her honey, don't you even dare call her that! You stole her away from me, you fucking asshole! You stole her, you stole her!" Chandler went on in a wild frenzy, as he pounced on his rival and repeatedly started bashing him in the face.

Meanwhile, Monica was panicking like crazy. She knew she couldn't possibly get Chandler to stop on her own, well not when he was in this state anyway.

Just then, she saw Ross emerging from the coffee house.

" Ross, Ross, I need some help here!" she yelled as loud as she could, while anxiously waving her arms about.

Seeing the state his sister was in, Ross immediately rushed over to her side, still carrying a mug of hot coffee.

" What is it? What's wrong now?" he asked in a little bit of an irritated tone.

" What's wrong?! What's wrong?! That's what's wrong!" she replied, gesturing to the scene behind them.

" Oh god, Chandler, Chandler stop it!" Ross tried, as he approached the two fighting men.

Then, upon seeing his request going unanswered, he dropped the mug and went to pull a furious Chandler off of his victim.

" Goddamn it, man! He's unconscious! What did you do?!" the paleontologist asked in sheer shock, when he'd finally gotten a proper look at Richard.

" He fucking deserves to be unconscious, he deserves that and more, for making her walk out on me!" an almost rabid Chandler yelled, still attempting to struggle free from his friend's iron grip.

Just then, he got a look at Monica's face. She only shook her head in disappointment, then announced: " That was low, Chandler, I don't think I'm ever going to want to see you again."

" That's fine with me, I don't ever want to see you again either! Come on, Ross, we're getting the hell out of here," Chandler retorted, right before spitting on the ground and turning to leave.

" Come on, Ross, are you with me or against me?" he inquired, when his friend took just a little too much time to follow behind him.

Ross said nothing, only looked at his sister, with a look of sheer compassion in his eyes. She was crying now and it always broke Ross's heart a little when he saw Monica cry. As her big brother he felt it his duty to always protect her.

" I'm… I'm going to stay here with Mon, I'm sorry man, but she needs me more than you right now."

" Fine!" Chandler yelled, then slowly walked away, back to his empty apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

When Chandler subsequently arrived back home, he flopped down onto his couch, feeling utterly embarassed. He still didn't understand what had just come over him. He couldn't believe he'd actually knocked Richard unconscious. What the hell was wrong with him? Now Monica didn't even want to see him anymore. He'd screwed everything up, he'd screwed it up royally. Thinking this, he kicked the coffee table in frustration. The worst thing about all of this was that he'd really hurt his hand, in the process of kicking that douchebag's ass.

Not really knowing what else to do, he reached for the remote and turned on the TV. There was nothing on, really. He finally settled for a lame romantic comedy, with Matthew Perry and Neve Campbell. It was either that, or the cooking channel, which just reminded him of his ex-girlfriend once again. At about twenty minutes in, Phoebe suddenly walked in.

" Hey, I'm back and I got a new haircut and every… oh Chandler, please don't tell me you're watching romantic comedies?"

" Yes, yes I am, that's how pathetic I have become."

" Hey, don't say you're pathetic, you're not pathetic, you're just… oh, is that Matthew Perry?"

" Uhm… yeah, I think so, why?"

" Oh, no reason, I just think he's quite yummy."

" You do realize he looks just like me, right?"

Phoebe only snorted, then stated:" Yeah, you wish you'd look like him. You're just well, you know...you, while he's…oh my god: Chandler, you're bleeding!" she suddenly brought out in a panicked tone, pointing to his hand.

" I am?" Chandler asked, dumbfounded.

" Yes, yes you are. What the hell did you do?" Does this have something to do with Monica?"

" Well… actually it does, I… uhm… I kind of beat Richard to a pulp," Chandler admitted.

" You did?! Well, what can I say?"

" You could say that I'm an idiot!"

" No, no you're not an idiot, you're just angry and that's perfectly understandable."

" No, it's not. I behaved like an aggressive asshole and Monica doesn't even want to see me anymore now!"

" Ugh, who cares? Monica's a bitch!" Phoebe brought out, in all honesty.

This statement was promptly followed up by a tell-tale glare from Chandler.

" What?! She is! Look Chandler, I know you might still be in love with her, but you can't deny that she totally acted like a devious bitch, she treated you like absolute shit! If she really would've loved you, she wouldn't have ditched you like that. She would've treated you with more dignity."

" Well, that actually does make sense… but I still shouldn't have beaten up her new boyfriend," Chandler admitted, while sighing loudly.

" Oh, don't you worry about that. I for one think Richard got what he deserved. He knew full well that Monica was in a relationship. He got what was coming to him!" his blonde friend proclaimed strongly.

Then she quickly walked over to the couch and sat down beside him.

" Hey, just for your information: you're still bleeding," Phoebe subsequently announced matter-of-factly, pointing to his fist.

" Oh, right, I better go do something about that," Chandler retorted, attempting to get up, only to be stopped by a hand on his arm.

" No… wait, let me," Phoebe offered, right before baffling her friend by promptly taking off her shirt and wiping his knuckles with it.

" O-kay, what did you just do?"

" Oh, relax… I'm only doing this to help you."

" Really? You couldn't just grab the first-aid kit, like any normal person would?" Chandler asked, getting more and more freaked-out by the second.

" This was a faster option and I'm not just any person, I'm unique," Phoebe explained proudly, as she just went on with her practices.

" God, Chandler, what the hell is wrong with you? You're all shaky," she then asked, upon noticing her friend's weird behavior.

" Well… seeing girls' bras, kind of gets me all… all... jumpy. Now put a shirt on, woman, for god sakes!" he clarified, as he jumped up from the couch.

" Oh, right… Joey told me about that."

" What? When did he do that? He wasn't supposed to tell anyone that!" Chandler yelled in anger.

" Relax, he just told me, in order to get you to give up, when I tried to seduce you, last year,"

" Oh right… the flirting shenanigans… when I told you I was in love with Monica," her friend recalled, wincing internally. Even saying her name, was an ordeal.

" Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't actually mean to bring that up again."

" It's fine, it's fine," Chandler brought out, waving his hand about. Then, he suddenly started giggling.

" What, what's funny?" Phoebe asked, a small grin gracing her features, when she finally saw him laughing again.

" Nothing, nothing, just the fact that I actually thought you liked me, at one point. I mean, you being in love with me? How unbelievable is that?" her friend explained, still laughing heartily.

" Yeah, I know right," the blonde affirmed.

Then she joined him in his fit of giggles, as she pointed at him and said: " I mean: can you actually imagine that? You and me going out?"

" No, never, it's absolutely ridiculous!" Chandler hollered in sheer joy, wiping the tears from his eyes as he started cracking up even more now.

Phoebe had stopped laughing however, she didn't know why, but she suddenly felt very hurt by his comment.

She then quickly changed the subject, as she almost seductively flipped her hair back and asked: " So… what do you make of my new hairstyle? Isn't it nice?"

" Oh… I'm sorry I hadn't really noticed your hair, since you're displaying all that cleavage. Are you EVER going to put your clothes back on, by the way?" her friend inquired sarcastically.

" Oh, oh right I forgot, wait here, I'll be back in a sec," Phoebe announced, as she got up from the couch and rushed into the guestroom.

While Chandler waited, he threw another glance at the TV-set, then muttered: " Ugh, that Perry-guy is SUCH a slime. You should definitely stay away from him, Neve."

" Oh Chandler, please stop talking to the people on TV, it creeps me out, like seriously," his blonde friend reprimanded, as she walked back into the room fully dressed.

" Hey, I'm only giving Neve advice, Matthew's a very, very annoying guy."

" Still watching that, are we? Why don't you just turn that thing off? You're not getting any happier by watching a movie about love, you know."

" I know, I know, there: I turned it off," Chandler retorted, while doing what he was told.

" So… now can you tell me what you think of my hair?" the masseuse asked, flipping it once again, to really emphasize the adaption.

" I like it, I like it better than your previous haircut," her friend commented, sending her a smile.

" Why? What was wrong with my previous haircut?" Phoebe retorted, slightly offended.

" Oh nothing, this is just you know: more Phoebe than the other one. In the end: you always go back to this hair and that's good. I like it better without the bangs, that's only my humble opinion."

" Well… thanks, I guess, so you want to get drunk?"

" What?"

" I asked you if you wanted to get drunk. It's a simple question, just answer me: yes or no."

" I… uh… I don't really have any beer at the moment. Joey drank it all, again."

" Well maybe you don't, but I…" Phoebe trailed off, right before walking over to her bag and pulling out a six-pack of Samuel Adams.

" I have."

" Phoebe… I don't know if this is such a good idea…" Chandler began, remembering just how sick he'd been, after he'd had his annual poker night with Joey. He'd ended up smoking that day as well. Monica had yelled at him, like there was no tomorrow.

" Oh, don't be such a wuss! Loosen up and act like a real man, here," the blonde retorted, pacing back over to him and handing him a can.

Chandler only stared at it suspiciously and made no attempt to open it whatsoever.

" What? What's the matter? I didn't lace it or anything, just ask Rachel. She was with me the whole time, before I came here."

Her friend sighed, then muttered: " I don't believe you spiked it… it's just… I can't drink beer on Monica's couch. She'd kill me if she ever found out."

Phoebe gave a small chortle, then placed a hand on his shoulder and said: " Hey, you can do whatever you want to that stupid couch now. Monica doesn't live here anymore. You're a free man, taste the freedom."

" It's brown and full of alcohol, freedom ladies and gentlemen!" Chandler mumbled sarcastically, right before opening up his can and taking a small sip.

He waited a few minutes, then threw his friend a meaningful glance.

" Well, what are you waiting for? Join me, will you? I don't want to be all spastic and dance around on the table all by myself."

" Alright, I will. I should warn you though: it takes a huge load of that stuff to actually get me drunk," Phoebe announced drily, as she went to sit next to him and grabbed another beer.

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

It wasn't even an hour later, that Chandler and Phoebe both really started feeling the impact of the few beers they'd had. He was doing his gazillionth imitation of Monica, while she was laughing hysterically.

" Ross, put your feet on the floor or come over here no more! Damn it Chandler, you forgot to use a coaster again!" he mimicked in a falsetto voice. He subsequently placed his feet on the coffee table and shrieked: " Oh no, I put my feet on there, the universe is going to explode…or implode… or whatever the heck else she thinks will happen when you do that!"

" Oh my god, that last impression was classic! You really have a knack for impersonating people!" Phoebe brought out, between giggles, right before she playfully slapped him on the chest.

" Thanks, I do find that my Monica-voice never falters at any festive occasion," her friend boasted smugly, instantly causing her to double over in a fit of laughter yet again.

Just then, somebody knocked on the door.

" Okay, whoever you are: we're not at home, we're not in here, we've gone out to ski! And if that's you, Monica: I don't even care that you're there!" Chandler slurred.

His statement didn't prove effective however, as the door subsequently opened to reveal Rachel standing there.

" No, get out, get outttttt! I'm butt-naked and so is she!" the 'transponster' went on, while pointing in Phoebe's direction.

" Uhm… okay, wow you guys! Did you start up a brewery?! I could smell the beer fumes from outside."

" Oh… we're just having a drink, would you like one t… oh damn it, Chandler, it's all gone!" Phoebe hollered, wildly gesturing to the empty package on the floor.

" Oh shit, shit, shit! Say, Rach: be a doll and go buy us some more," Chandler commanded, while reaching into his wallet.

" No, no, I'm not doing that! You guys are drunk enough already!"

" Oooh, sassssssy," he retorted, simultaneously sending the other blonde into a new giggle fit and making Rachel leave.

" What just happened, did she just leave us?" Phoebe asked, not really knowing what was happening anymore.

" Yes, Sassy Greene's gone, she's gone and I miss her already. Oh god, why did you leave us, Rachel? Why? We were getting along so well," her friend whined, right before he pretended to cry.

Phoebe only smiled, then got up and asked: " So, what'd you say we make Monica's stupid apartment into a total mess?"

Chandler assumed a thoughtful position for a second, then jumped up and happily exclaimed: " Okay!"


	13. Chapter 13

" So… where do we start?" a still buzzed Chandler asked, while he rubbed his hands together.

" How about… we completely move the furniture around? She would so totally hate that, if she were to see it!"

" Muhaha, yes and she IS going to see it, cause she's still coming back to gather up the last of her stuff," Chandler gloated.

" Okay, I just have to ask: what the hell was that noise you just made?" Phoebe inquired, giving him a bit of a what-the-fuck-look.

" What? What noise?"

" Hum… okay… here I go, let's see if I can get this just right: Muhaha!"

" Oh… that's my evil laugh, I often use it at the office, to intimidate people," her friend clarified, with a gesture of his hand.

Phoebe only chuckled in response, then stated: " Oh my god, you call THAT an evil laugh? Even Joey can do it better than you and he always sounds like santa."

" Oh yeah? Well, who says your evil laugh is that good?"

" Oh… Chandler, please. Trust me when I say you don't want to get me started," Phoebe declared, while smiling a little.

" Oh, I want to get you started, alright. Bring on the deranged laughter, my friend!" her friend proposed defiantly.

" Okay, as you wish. Don't say I didn't warn you though. You might get really really scared."

" Please, I think I'll be able to handle it," Chandler mocked.

" If you says so… uhum,uhum: muhahaha!" Phoebe brought out, almost psychotically, effectively scaring Chandler and making him tumble backwards on the couch.

" Scared?" the blonde asked triumphantly.

" Terrified, where in the hell did you learn to do that?" her friend squeaked, trembling like a leaf as he hugged a pillow to his chest.

" Well let's just say, robbing people gets a lot easier when you have the appropriate type of insane cackle to go with it," she clarified.

" Now, will you get of that couch? I want to slide it over to the kitchen, or something."

" Oh, sure yeah, okay," her friend replied, right before jumping straight on top of the coffee table.

" So… I'm just gonna put this one over here," Phoebe muttered, as she dragged the sofa over to the other side of the room. " And this one way over there," she went on, while she grabbed a hold of the smaller chair and slid it over to the kitchen, right next to the table.

" Hihi, good call," Chandler commented, while giving her the thumbs up. Then he hopped back onto the carpet and sprinted over to the fridge. " I know what Monica really hates: cookie crumbs all over her clean floor," he stated, as he threw five chocolate chip cookies, from the last of Monica's batches on the ground and subsequently started trampling on them like a mad man.

Seeing how much fun he was having, Phoebe asked: " Oh, can I play too?"

" Be my guest," Chandler replied, right before tossing another dozen of cookies about.

They went on doing that, for a while until they were both satisfied with the mess they'd made. Deep in his heart, Chandler knew they were acting like naughty children, but he couldn't care less at this point.

" Ooooh, that was a good one… what else can we do? Think of something, quick!" his blonde friend exclaimed afterwards.

He thought for a minute, which actually proved to be quite difficult with the amount of alcohol that was currently in his system, then got a mischievous smirk on his face and declared: " 4 words: WET PAPER TOWELS."

Phoebe only grinned in response, then slurred: " Those are three words, Chandler. One, two, three: it's basic math. I thought you were good at maths."

" Oh shut up and head up to Joey's to get the good stuff, will ya?"

" Not necessary, I have a whole box of paper towels in my bag," the blonde stated matter-of-factly, before she went to retrieve them.

" Did you like… plan this or something?" her friend asked, as he eyed her kind of suspiciously.

" Maaaaybe, now if I could just find… these damn things," Phoebe mumbled, while still going through her bag.

After about five more minutes of looking for the paper towels, Chandler finally got fed up, took the bag away from her and held it upside down, successfully sending the contents flying.

" Hey, you don't get to do that!" his blonde friend protested.

" Well, we still wouldn't have found them tomorrow, with the way you were carrying on. Plus, why is that thing so big? Does it house the long lost empire of Atlantis?" he asked sarcastically, gesturing to the huge mess, that was now littered all over the floor.

" I do not care for your tone, Chandler Bing!"

" Well, I have news for you: I don't care that you don't care for my tone!"

" Oh, ooooh, well I don't care that you don't care, that I don't care for your tone!"

" Well, I don't… what?" Chandler finally gave up, all confused.

" Oh poor Muriel, outwitted every time," Phoebe snickered.

" Where did you get that name?" her friend asked, squinting his eyes.

" From joey, duh. You know, if you want your deep, dark secrets to be kept save, you really shouldn't share them with Joey. He blabs them to me all the time."

" Well, looks like I'll have to pay Mr. Tribbiani a little visit then," the 'transponster' whispered threateningly.

" Oh my god, Chandler, you crack me up," Phoebe brought out, while holding a hand in front of her mouth.

" What?"

" You don't actually believe for a split second, that you are capable of beating up Joey, do you? I mean: have you looked in the mirror?"

" Yess," he brought out, his confidence slowly dying down with each passing second.

" Than you'd know that you couldn't possibly handle a huge, muscled guy like Joey, wouldn't you?"

" Hey, I could take him, if I wanted to have a fight!" Chandler yelled, suddenly feeling the need to emphasize the manliness within him. The alcohol was handing him more bravery, than he normally possessed.

Phoebe only exhaled in response, then tried to contain her laughter when she retorted: " Yeah sure, whatever you say,"

" I am serious! You wanna see what I got, huh?" he inquired defiantly, right before banging himself on the chest and promptly taking off his shirt and tossing it in a corner.

" Chandler, what the hell are you…" his friend asked, completely baffled by this sudden weird exchange of events. The beer definitely had turned the guy standing before her into an entirely different man.

" Showing you what I got. You're not the only one who can prance around half-naked with a sexy body!" he abruptly blurted out.

He immediately regretted his words, when the blonde gave him one of her famous flirty looks and seductively asked: " Sooo, Chandler, do you really think I have a sexy body?"

" Well obvi… I mean…uhm…fle… flennan."

There was a brief pause in the conversation, as Phoebe just chuckled at Chandler's obvious discomfort and said man just stood there motionlessly, staring at the ground.

" Say… nice biceps, loverrr," she then purred, with the sole intent of teasing him. It had been tons of fun last time and it proved to be just as satisfactory at this very moment. When she subsequently reached out to touch his bicep, he flinched.

" I… uh… I'm going to put this back on now," Chandler then stuttered in a high-pitched voice right before picking up the ditched garment and pulling it back over his head. What the hell had possessed him, when he'd decided to take it off anyway?

" Good, then we can go and have some more fun, yay!" Phoebe suddenly shouted excitedly.

" Yeah, we still have to throw those towels around and muck this joint up," her friend retorted, almost equally cheerful. He probably would have a lot of cleaning up to do in the morning, but right now he was just having some genuine fun, with one of his best friends in the feigned prospect of pissing off his ex.

" No!"

" No?" Chandler asked, a look of sheer confusion on his face.

" I mean, yes, we can definitely do that later, but for now… I have a better idea," his friend clarified, a wicked glint shining in her eye.

" And what might that be? Tell me more!" Chandler inquired in sheer enthusiasm, while he hopped up and down and grabbed a hold of Phoebe's hands.

" Oh, you'll see, now say… Chandler. Do you happen to know where Richard lives?"

**A/N: So, what mischief could our protagonists possibly be up to? You'll find out next time.**


	14. Chapter 14

It wasn't until three hours later, that the two friends finally arrived at Monica's new place. They'd come in Phoebe's grandmother's cab and had stopped underway to go to a strip joint. This much to Chandler's chagrin, as he always felt very uncomfortable when he attended such clubs with his female friends. It certainly hadn't helped that he'd already had started sobering up a bit, by the time they'd arrived there. But when he'd turned back around at the entrance, Phoebe had grasped his arm, forced him back inside and had even paid him a lap dance.

" So… here we are," Phoebe stated matter-of-factly.

" Yeah… I still don't think this is a good idea though, Pheebs. What if we get caught?"

" Relax, I'm a pro, I've never gotten caught when I broke into a car, ever."

" You've done this before?!" Chandler exclaimed, his voice holding just a little too much surprise to his friend's liking.

" Well, yeah, duh. How do you think I traveled from one place to another, when I was homeless? Not on foot, let me tell you that. I liked living the good life, baby."

" But what if they hear you and call the police?" he asked, already panicking like crazy at the prospect of having to do this rather illegal thing.

" God, why are you acting like such a girl? I'm telling you it'll be fine. They're not in! Monica's at her retarded restaurant, working a late shift and Richard is a little busy too, since a certain Miss Regina Phalange called him, regarding a bit of a glass in the eye-emergency."

" You didn't?!" her friend yelled in disbelief.

" Uhu, yes I sure did, and by the time he notices there's no one there he has to help, we'll be long gone. That practice is miles from here."

" When did you even call him? I never saw you making a phone call."

" While you were getting entertained by all of those lovely ladies."

" Oh… right. You disappeared for ten minutes back there. I should've known you were up to something. Not that I minded. It was really mightily awkward, when you were still staring at me, while I was getting that lap dance."

" Uhu okay, whiny whinerson. I'm going to get out of this car and do my rightful duty now. If you want to stay here, panicking like an eight-year old that's your call."

Chandler only huffed, then said: " No, it's fine, I'm going with you."

" That's it, now you're talking. Come on, let's go!" Phoebe yelled in excitement, right before she got out of the car, crowbar in hand.

" I still really wish you'd change your mind, though," her friend squeaked, as he trailed close behind her.

" Well, I'm not gonna, now do you see his other car? I know he has two of 'em, cause I've done my research."

Chandler nervously looked around for a bit, then pointed a shaky finger in the direction of a red Plymouth. The same car he'd seen earlier that day.

Before he even fully realized what was happening, Phoebe had already stormed towards it and bashed in the window.

" Shit, the alarm, it's got an alarm, I knew it!" Chandler shrieked, only to promptly get cut off by his friend.

" Will you shut up?! I got it!" Phoebe whisper-yelled, as she quickly reached inside, pushed a few buttons and made the tell-tale noise come to an end.

" There, that's better. Now… let me see if I can get these damn doors open," she muttered, as she dove back in to fondle at the locks.

Then, there was the sound of a faint click, as she triumphantly whispered: " Yes, I still got it."

" Well come on, Chandler get in here," Phoebe urged, when she'd gone to sit down in the driver's seat.

" I…uh…I don't know," her friend brought out, while staring at the ground and shuffling his feet.

" Oh, come on, we've come this far. You're practically my accomplice now. You can't possibly turn back."

" Well… okay," he finally gave in, as he opened the door and took his place beside her.

" Now… if this isn't tons of fun, I don't know what is," his blonde friend declared, rubbing her hands together in delight.

" You have a very bizarre definition of fun, if I may say so myself. Especially when taking into consideration the fact that we could end up in a place, that promotes values the exact opposite of fun," Chandler rambled.

" Oh, will you just loosen up, already? Look at you, you're trembling like a leaf."

" Well, excuse me, but this definitely isn't what I had pictured myself doing on a Thursday night," he stated in annoyance.

" Well you have to admit, it's better than staying in to watch a corny movie about love, all the while crying because a certain someone who shall not be named, left you behind."

" Maybe… maybe it's a little better, yes," Chandler brought out slowly, his voice still giving away his continuing state of edginess.

" No, no, not a little: a lot," Phoebe protested. " Now… what can I possibly do to get you to relax… oh, I know: I should totally give you a lap dance!" she suddenly exclaimed excitedly, still feeling a little bit intoxicated from that wine at the club.

Chandler's only reaction, was a stunned expression on his face, as his friend of nearly six years suddenly mounted him and started wiggling about in his lap.

" What… uh… what are you doing?" he gulped, as he felt her hips swaying against his own.

" Undertaking a brave attempt to make you chill out. Why? Do you not like it? I'm certainly doing a better job, than that one girl down at the strip joint. She looked like she was repelled by you," Phoebe blurted out, before really realizing the consequences of such a statement on Chandler's self esteem.

" Well of course, she was repelled by me. Have you looked at me? You were right earlier, I'm not strong, I'm not attractive… I'm… I'm nothing," Chandler stated sadly, averting his eyes from her.

" Hey, that is no true! Chandler, you are not nothing. Please stop saying those ridiculous things about yourself!" Phoebe proclaimed strongly, as she lifted his chin and stared deeply into his now tear-filled orbs.

" Yes it is, I'm worthless," he went on, truly believing his own words. Why else would everyone always leave him behind? Heck, even his own parents didn't care that much for him.

" No, here: let me tell you something: I think you're very attractive," she assured, while softly stroking his cheek.

" You don't have to lie to me, Phoebe! You pretty much denied me ever having a chance with you, earlier! So, don't try to act like you find me all attractive, now, okay?! Chandler shouted, flinching away from her, his face turning redder by the second.

Phoebe, who was a bit shocked by his outburst at first, now guiltily bit her lip.

" I was lying to you earlier, I do actually think you're quite cute," she whispered softly.

" What?" her friend uttered in disbelief.

" I said that I think you're cute and you don't have to be so shocked about it, cause I told you once before. Remember that time when you felt insecure, because all those women at that party seemed to be ignoring you?"

" Yeah…"

" I hugged you back then and told you that you were very attractive."

" Well, I don't seem to recall that part," he muttered, dumbfounded.

" Well, I did and I'm still sticking with that opinion," Phoebe declared honestly.

" Really?" Chandler asked, a small, hopeful smile playing on his lips.

" Really, in fact… no I shouldn't be telling you this, I DEFINITELY should not be telling you this," she rambled.

" What? No, tell me. Tell me, please," her friend pleaded.

" No!"

" Oh come on, you already know my middle name is Muriel. I think I earned the right, to get to know one of your secrets now."

" Oh, okay alright, uhm… here's the thing: I used to have a bit of a crush on you."

" What? How? When?" Chandler squeaked, not believing the words, which had just come from her mouth.

" When I was pregnant and you were all over that Cathy-girl."

" Nooo?!"

" Oh yes, why do you think I named one of the babies after you? I never did anything about it, though. Firstly: because of our friendship, secondly: because I thought it would pass, it was just a crush after all, and thirdly: because I knew you'd never find me beautiful, not when I was carrying a litter."

" Oh… oh, wow. That... sure is a lot of information to get in thirty seconds."

" Yeah, I know, but don't worry. I don't have those feelings anymore. I forgot about them long ago."

" Oh, wow… well, I want to tell you something too: I never ever thought you weren't beautiful, even pregnant, you still had a certain charm."

" Do you really mean that?" Phoebe gloated.

" Yes, yes I do," Chandler assured, sending her a warm smile. He didn't know why, but he found he rather liked her sudden insecure state. She was always so confident and now, seeing that she had to rely on him to accept she was pretty, was quite cute.

" Thanks," she whispered softly, looking up into his eyes.

" No problem," he retorted, briefly catching a glimpse of something in her eyes, that he'd never seen there before.

They subsequently turned silent for a while, as a sudden weird type of tension filled the air between them.

Then Chandler suddenly broke the silence, when he asked: " Hey, can I ask you a question?"

" Sure," Phoebe replied, moving away from him again.

" Why were you always getting me down, during the past two years? You really made me feel bad about myself, you know."

" Because… because I was angry with you."

" What… why? What did I ever do to you?" her friend inquired, genuine curiosity clearly apparent in his tone.

" Oh… it wasn't just you, it was… it was mainly Monica."

" Well, what did she do?"

" Well, she kind of took you away from m…us. You see, when the two of you started dating, something changed in our friendship. Suddenly, you were always unavailable, you know. It was always something: I'm having dinner with Monica, I'm going to a gig with Monica. It wasn't that bad at the beginning, but then when you moved in together, it got worse and worse.

Truth of the matter is Chandler, we… I just kind of missed you. I know that's a stupid reason, but there was a time in both of our lives when we were really close. I'll always remember that time, that I got to be your secretary and that time when you went along with me, to go visit my dad and said all those nice things, when I was afraid to go knock on the door… I, oh god… What am I going on about? I'm such a selfish bitch," she ranted, right before she softly started to cry.

" Hey, hey, don't cry, come here," Chandler said, enveloping her into his arms and hugging her to his chest.

" You are not a selfish bitch, okay. I… only… I wish you would've just told me the truth. I would've found more time to hang out with you, I'm sure of it. Hey, it's me, I'd never purposely ditch you and leave you behind. You're one of my best friends," he cooed into her ear, while she continued to let out soft sobs into his chest.

" Th...thank… you," Phoebe stuttered, as she leant back again.

" No problem. Hey, it's me, it's us. Besides: look on the bright side: with Monica out of the way, we can be together way more often. Heck, we even live in the same apartment," Chandler went on, smiling.

" Yes… yes, I guess that's true."

" I had no idea… I always figured you had gotten a lot closer to Joey and that you didn't really need me anymore."

" Yeah… well, Joey did help me a lot, whenever I got upset over losing you as a friend. I will always be grateful to him for that. Plus, he's quite yummy too," his friend giggled.

" Oh, well I wouldn't know about that. I'm not a woman."

" Didn't you once say: if I were a guy?"

" Well yes… but I'm still working on putting that little slip-up behind me. It is true that sometimes, I do feel a little more in touch with my feminine side, though: I love hot baths and Oprah Winfrey."

Phoebe only chuckled in response and that's when her friend countered: " Okay, can you just forget that I said that, please?"

" Sure… hey there's money on here," she suddenly stated randomly, as she took twenty dollars from the dashboard and put them in her pants pocket.

" Ooh, I wish you wouldn't have done that," Chandler brought out, feeling his anxiety returning to him.

" Why not, are you getting scared again? Look, I'm sure he wouldn't really miss a twenty, he's fucking loaded."

" Eh, you're right. Keep the money, he deserves it for stealing my woman," her friend complied.

" Here, here," Phoebe agreed. Then, all of a sudden, she started shivering.

" What's wrong? Are you cold?" Chandler inquired in concern, right before he began rubbing her arms.

" A bit.. yeah, I should have worn a jacket really. But it's fine, I'll survive," she assured, with a gesture of her hand.

" No, here: have mine," her friend offered, quickly taking off the garment to place it over her shoulders.

" Well… that does actually feel better, thanks."

" No problem."

" You know, when I said thanks: I meant thanks for everything. I'm sorry for crying, it was weak and stupid. I hardly ever do it," Phoebe stated sincerely, still feeling a bit ashamed about breaking down in front of him.

" Like I said: no problem and it's okay to cry, I do it all the damn time and I'm a guy for heaven's sake."

" You sure about that?" the masseuse challenged, making him huff.

" I'm kidding, I'm kidding…come here," she brought out, as she reached out to him, for a hug.

Her friend gladly accepted , pleasantly surprised by the fact that there was actually more to Phoebe, than met the eye. His musings were quickly interrupted, when he felt another stinging pain surge through his wrist.

" Ouch, shit," he cursed, straight into his blonde friend's ear.

" What, what's the matter?" Phoebe inquired worriedly, as she hastily released him.

" It's my wrist, it's killing me," Chandler winced, while he grabbed another hold of said body part.

" Oh, I'm so sorry, can I do something?"

" Not really… no, it just… it stings like a motherfucker."

Then Phoebe suddenly surprised him, as she grabbed a soft hold of his hand, slowly brought it over to her mouth and placed a gentle kiss to his wrist. She'd initially meant to do it in a playful way, but the minute her lips were met with hot skin, it turned into something more sensual, as they lingered just that little bit longer.

This didn't go unnoticed by Chandler, as he got more and more worked up, just from seeing that look in her eyes.

Then, it was like everything happened in slow-motion, as he reached out to brush the hair from her face and slowly inched closer, driven by his all-consuming, longing and that captivating look in her gorgeous green eyes.

He wasn't even conscious, when his lips finally met hers in a sloppy, soft kiss. They kissed slowly at first, with Chandler taking the lead, as he tangled a hand in her long blonde hair, to push her body closer to his. Phoebe returned the kiss with ardor, pressing herself up against his chest and running a soft, trembling hand over his flexed bicep. She always did think he had the nicest biceps.

Then however, everything changed, when Chandler slowly tried to probe her lips open with his tongue. " Chandler, Chandler, what are we… what are you doing?" Phoebe whispered, as she hurriedly broke away from him.

" Oh… oh my god, you… I… I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm such an idiot. Oh my god, I… I'm gonna go," her friend stammered, right before throwing open the door and rushing out into the cold night.


	15. Chapter 15

" Chandler, Chandler!" Phoebe shouted at the top of her lungs, as she chased her friend, who was still miles ahead of her and didn't seem to have the intention of stopping anytime soon.

" Chandler, stop running and get your ass back here, goddamn it!" she tried again, but to no avail.

Then, all of a sudden, Chandler's luck turned, as he ran straight into a trashcan and stumbled over it, allowing his blonde friend to catch up with him.

" Are you okay?" she asked in concern, as she stuck out her hand to help him up.

" I'm fine," Chandler replied, without much emotion, as he completely ignored Phoebe's attempt to help him, got up and promptly turned away from her.

" Hey, look at me!" Phoebe commanded, trying to get a hold of his arm, but being unsuccessful in doing so.

" Phoebe…" he began softly.

" Oh, so you CAN still acknowledge the fact, that I'm standing right here, then." The blonde retorted angrily.

" Phoebe… please… I…"

" You what?! You have a sudden inability to turn your head and make eye-contact with people?! What is it, Chandler?! Please do tell!"

Chandler only sighed, then slowly flipped around, his gaze firmly fixed on the concrete below.

" Look at me! Look at me, damn it!" Phoebe screamed almost hysterically, causing her friend to finally lift his head and stare at her, with an empty look in his eyes.

" Okay, okay Phoebe, he…here's what I'm gonna do: I am just gonna haul a cab and sleep over at Joey's. You can take your car and drive back over to our place, okay?"

" No, no that's not okay! We need to talk about what just happened in that fucking car!" the feisty blonde demanded.

Chandler only shook his head in response, then quietly stated: " Bye, Pheebs," before he walked away, called a cab at the end of the street, and got inside.

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

When Phoebe finally arrived at her destination, she felt tired, upset and humiliated, all at the same time. She could understand he was a bit shook up, after what had happened between them, of course. But that still didn't give him the right to just ignore her and then send her home alone. He was the one that'd initiated the kiss, after all. Yet, he'd acted like this was all her fault somehow.

She sighed loudly, when she couldn't seem to fit her key into the damn lock. Then, while she was still making a clumsy attempt to open the door, she suddenly heard a very familiar voice behind her: HIS voice.

" You should really give it a good push, otherwise it won't work. Monica's had the locks altered a few weeks ago. The keys still fit, but it's a bit more tricky to actually get the door open."

Phoebe then turned around and rolled her eyes at him. " Oh, so you can talk to me about this random, trivial thing, but not about the other way more important one?"

" Phoebe… I…I… can you just please go back to unlocking that damn door, please?" Chandler inquired softly, as he tried to look everywhere but at her.

" Alright fine, but this isn't over!" the blonde declared sternly, as she turned back around and tried her hand at getting inside, one more time.

" Sweet mother of Satan, what in the hell is the matter with this thing?! she brought out furiously, when her attempt had failed yet again.

Just then, she felt a warm hand closing over her own. " You should really…kind of…jam it in, like…there you go." he stated, while successfully unlocking the door and pushing it open.

" Thanks," Phoebe brought out quietly, only now noticing a renewed proximity between their faces.

" No problem," he muttered, his breath hot against her ear.

There was a moment of silence, as Phoebe turned her head to face him, his lips now very close to hers . She could practically already feel them. Chandler swallowed hard, when he saw her closing her eyes, all the while inching closer toward him. He knew that if they stayed like this, he would end up making the same mistake, he had made before.

" I… I'm gonna go," he suddenly announced, as he quickly turned his face away, successfully breaking whatever spell it was, that had chosen to bring them in this situation again.

Phoebe said nothing, just stared at him, dumbfounded, as he disappeared through the door of apartment 19.

" Hey Joe, I need to crash here, hope that's okay with you," she could faintly hear him mutter, right before he slowly closed the door behind him.

**A/N: Short, filler chapter, but I promise there's more good stuff to come. Meanwhile, if you find time: vote for my special little Friends poll on my profile. Your vote matters!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So I'm sorry that I put this off for a whole month, but I wasn't exactly sure what to write for this part. Therefore, this is the first spontaneous, improvised chapter in this story and I can only hope, that it's to your liking. **

The next day, Phoebe woke up with a hell of a headache. She hadn't slept much, as she'd pondered over what had happened between her and Chandler the entire night. ' See, that's what happens if you get all drunkenly emotional and corny,' she inwardly scolded herself. ' You almost get yourself into a full-on make out session with a guy that has been your friend for years.'

She was abruptly pulled from her musings, when there was the sound of a faint knocking.

" Oh, fantastic, visitors, just what I need," she muttered, while reluctantly getting up from the couch and making her way over to the door.

" Oh… it's you, what do you want?" the blonde inquired in annoyance, when she saw her former best friend standing before her.

" Uh, hi, I… I just came over to get the rest of my stuff, is Chandler in?" Monica asked timidly, as she tried to look past Phoebe to spot for any signs of her ex-boyfriend.

" No, he's not, what do you want him for anyway? Yesterday, he told me you'd said that you never wanted to see him again."

" Oh, I didn't mean that, I was just angry with him for hitting Richard is all."

" Well, I sure do hope Chandler hit that fucker with force, he doesn't deserve any better," Phoebe spat, while sending Monica some threatening glances.

" You bitch, how dare you?!" the brunette threw back, as she reached out to slap her former friend right in the face.

" Fuck you!" the masseuse hollered, as she raised her hand and hit her right back.

What ensued, was a lot of hysterical shrieking, while they both started wildly pulling at each other's hair.

" Let go off my hair, you crazy psycho!" Monica hollered, while attempting to kick Phoebe in the shins.

" Not, until you let go of mine, you… you big… boyfriendleaver!" the blonde retorted uncertainly, not really knowing what other word to use.

" That's not even a word!" the chef shrieked, as she tightened her grip on her rival's hair.

" Hey, hey, hey, what's goin' on in here?!" came a voice from behind them.

" She called me a bitch and then she hit me!"

" Yeah, well, that's was only after she called my boyfriend a fucker, Joey!" Monica defended herself, while continuing to wrestle with Phoebe.

" Okay… well, I don't really like to do it, cause a chick-fight is always hot, but I'm gonna have to break you up!" the actor announced in all seriousness, right before pulling the youngest of the Geller siblings away from her former friend.

" There, now Monica, stop your squirming and calm down!" Joey shouted, having all the trouble in the world as he desperately tried to restrain her.

Then, Phoebe advanced on Monica again, ready to go for a second round.

" Oh, I'm not done with you, yet!" she hollered threateningly.

" No, Pheebs… don't, Monica calm yourself, woman! Chandler, Chandler, get in here!" the Italian tried, nearly giving up hope, as he only had two hands and the girls were very close to yet another brawl.

" What, what's going on, Joe?" Chandler inquired in confusion, as he came walking into the apartment, rubbing his eyes and still in his pajamas.

" This, is what's going on! Now lend me a hand and go grab Phoebe!" Joey explained, gesturing to the angry blonde.

Watching the scene in front of him, his friend didn't hesitate a second longer, as he quickly grabbed a firm hold of her. It was only then that he noted how awkward it really was, for him to be holding Phoebe like this, after what they'd done yesterday. He almost let her go again, then realized that probably wouldn't be a good idea, seeing the state that both women were in.

" There you go, nice and calm," Joey finally brought out, when Monica had stopped fighting him.

" Now, if I'll let you go, do you promise not to pounce on Phoebe?"

The chef said nothing, just gave a little nod and stepped out of her friend's embrace.

" What… what are you doing here anyway, Monica?" Chandler asked, while slowly letting go of Phoebe. The latter feeling slightly disappointed about this change of events. Secretly, she kind of liked it when she was being held by him. There was something oddly reassuring about his embrace.

" I… uh… I came to pick up the rest of my things," Monica replied quietly, suddenly growing embarrassed again.

" Oh, well, whatever you want, you know where to find it. You sure as hell won't be needing me, in any way," he retorted coldly.

" Oh, please, Chandler. It doesn't have to be this way, we could be friends. Despite what happened yesterday, we could still…"

" Friends? Oh, friends you say?! Right! I'm sure that's perfectly possible, after the way you treated me!" Chandler cut her off sharply, while pointing an accusing finger in his ex-girlfriend's direction.

" Right… I think I'll be going," Joey brought out awkwardly, not really wanting to get involved in this whole situation. Then, he motioned for Phoebe to follow him, but she just shook her head and remained right where she was standing.

" Look, I apologized and apologized, Chandler! There's not much more I can do!"

" Well, I have news for you, Mon: sorry doesn't cut it, not now and not ever! So, why don't just take your junk and get the hell out of here, so we can all go on with our lives?!"

" Chandler… I don't…."

" Oh, just shut the hell up! You're pathetic!" Phoebe suddenly interjected, causing Monica to send her an angry glare.

" This is between me and chandler! You stay out of this!"

" Oh, it's soo not just between you and Chandler! When you left him, he was so fucking miserable that he tried to kill himself! Therefore, we are all involved, cause your little " decision" put one of our best friend's life in danger! Your little decision has affected all of us, Monica, cause we had to take sides and poor Ross doesn't even know what to do! Cause he's forced to choose between his sister and his best friend, so don't you dare say that this is between you and Chandler!" the blonde ranted.

" She has a point, you know," Chandler agreed softly.

" I guess… I guess she does. Right, I… I'm just gonna go and find my stuff."

" You do that," Phoebe retorted, still not being able to keep the annoyance out of her tone.

" Oh my god, look at this mess, what the hell did you do in here?!" Monica yelled, when she'd made her way to the kitchen and saw the cookie crumbs on the floor.

" What I do in this apartment, is my business, you don't even live here anymore, so why does it bother you?" Chandler asked defiantly.

" You… you did this on purpose, didn't you? You know perfectly well how that kind of thing gets on my nerves. Oh my god! Well, shows just how much of a grown-up you are."

" Whatever, Mon. This is nothing in comparison to what you did. Can't I have a little revenge? It's out of my system now and I'm glad I did it. I'll clean it up later, but right now you'll just have to deal with it."

" Fine! I can take it! This won't even take that long, I'll be gone before you know it."

" Good! We don't want you loitering around this place any longer than needed."

" Oh, I'm sorry, did you just say we? Who's " we"?" the chef inquired, while grabbing a handful of cups and placing them in the cardboard box she'd brought along.

" Well, me… me and my wonderful friend Pheebs here," Chandler announced matter-of-factly, while gesturing to said woman. He still didn't have the balls to touch her again.

" Oh, so that's how you wanna play it? You're gonna try and make me jealous with Phoebe, now? Well, that's not very believable, Chandler! You know why? Cause there's nothing there! I know for a fact that she doesn't like you that way! At our Christmas party last year, I remember her saying that she'd never met a more annoying guy and that I must've been pretty desperate to hook up with you!"

" No, Chandler! That's not true, don't believe her!" Phoebe tried, when she saw the hurt look on his face. She was lying though, she had said it, but it had only been a heat-of-the-moment-kind of thing, cause they'd just had a serious argument back then. And Monica most certainly KNEW that much.

" Good luck saving yourself out of that one, Phoebe," the brunette stated, with a dirty grin.

The blonde didn't respond, only threw her a vicious glare, right before strolling over to Chandler and promptly crashing her lips into his, forcing a firm and passionate kiss on him. The man in question didn't respond at first, then saw this as an ultimate way to face up to his ex and hungrily started kissing her back, grabbing a tight hold of her face and melting into the embrace. He kept his eyes open during it though, never wanting to forget that baffled and shocked look on Monica's face.

" So… did you enjoy the show, Mon? Was that what you had in mind, when you'd suggested me having an affair with Chandler? Cause, let me tell you something: Chandler does actually have the courtesy to not sleep with the first person he sees, unlike some people. There's nothing between us, he wasn't even hinting at that, but you made it come this far. So, I hope you're happy," Phoebe rambled, when she'd finally pulled away from the heated kiss.

Monica said nothing, just kept staring at them , with her mouth wide open. Then, she finally shook her head and promptly left the apartment.

" So, I guess we showed her, huh?" the masseuse stated triumphantly, while beaming at Chandler.

" Uh… yeah, yeah, I guess… we did," he replied awkwardly, while putting a safe distance between them again, now regretting his decision to return her kiss earlier. It had only managed to make things more uncomfortable.

" I… I'm gonna head back over to Joey's then," he announced hurriedly, before returning to the door. He knew full well that this wasn't the way to handle this situation, but he didn't know what to say to her at this point. " So, Pheebs. We kissed… twice, what's all that about?" sure didn't seem to be a good line. To him, running away from his problems had always been his first choice, and he was just gonna do it again now.

" No, Chandler, wait!" his friend tried, but it was too late, as he was already closing the door of apartment 20 behind him.


	17. Chapter 17

Upon hearing the sound of Chandler's retiring footsteps, Phoebe allowed herself to let out a deep sigh. ' What was it with this guy, that he always opted to run away for EVERYTHING? She'd surely thought she'd finally restored their friendship by defending him and joking around about their last kiss, which-let's face it- had only occurred to piss off Monica, but somehow she'd managed to make this whole mess into an even bigger mess. " Oh man, I should've never kissed him back yesterday," she reprimanded herself out loud. Then again, even if she hadn't, HE still would've kissed her. ' Oh well, no use pondering over lost chances, the past is the past. Now I just gotta get that guy to talk to me again. There's really no need for more awkwardness. I'm going in there… but not just now. I gotta get me some coffee first, I feel like shit,' she thought to herself, right before slowly making her way over to the kitchen.

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

Meanwhile, at Joey's, Chandler was sitting in his old recliner, while he watched his actor friend preparing an incredibly large sandwich for himself.

" Jesus, Joe. Didn't you just have like a whole bunch of pancakes?"

" Yeah, so?" the actor, asked with a full mouth, as he only just managed to stuff the whole thing into his mouth.

" Nothing, I'm just saying: when a heart attack announces itself at 50, please don't be surprised."

" Boy, you sure are in a good mood today and I gotta tell ya, dude: breaking up a chick-fight really takes it out of ya," the Italian went on, right before taking another bite from his sub, causing marinara sauce to spray all over his shirt.

Just then, Rachel came strolling out of her bedroom, stretching and yawning exaggeratedly.

" Oh, hey Chandler, what are you doing here?" she asked, not having a single clue about the proceedings of the previous night.

" He stayed the night," Joey replied, hereby spitting a whole load of breadcrumbs in Rachel's face.

" Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather," she muttered irritatedly, while wiping at her cheeks.

" Sorry, sorry."

" Oh no… Joey! You got disgusting goo all over your Ralph Lauren shirt! I am gonna need it back clean, you know! Do you want to get me fired?!" she then exclaimed, upon seeing the stains on the fancy polo shirt, she'd only just gotten for him to wear on one of his auditions.

" Okay, first of all: this is not disgusting goo, okay: it's my mom's marinara sauce and it so happens to be delicious," her friend retorted, right before scooping some of it up with his finger, and bringing it over to his lips.

" And secondly: no need to worry, I'll get this baby down to the dry cleaner's, as soon as I find the time."

" Right… as soon as he can fit it in, in his very busy schedule of eating and taking naps," Chandler quipped, causing Rachel to smile.

" Hey, it's not my fault I'm at home this much! Being an actor is hard, you know. You can't hire yourself for a part, you need others!" his friend defended himself, while continuing to scrape the remnants of sauce from his shirt.

" Ooh, honey, I'm so sorry," Rachel apologized, as she started rubbing his shoulders.

" It's okay and I promise I'll get this to the dry cleaner's, Rach. You'll get it back nice and clean."

" Oh, it's okay, sweetie. I might've overreacted a little bit just now. Maybe you cou…"

" Hey, wait just a minute there, Rach. So, Joe… the dry cleaner's, eh? Tell me: where is that place again?" Chandler interrupted the conversation.

" Well, uh… that's easy, it's just a few blocks away from here, in the… the…" Joey began, looking at Rachel for help.

" In the?" his friend inquired, a small smile forming on his lips.

" In… in… in… dry cleaning-lane?" the Italian asked, in an almost desperate squeaky voice.

" Point proven, my friends," Chandler announced triumphantly, gesturing to the confused actor.

" My dear god, Joey! You've lived here for all this time and you don't even know the location of the Laundromat. Do you ever wash your own clothes?"

Then, Joey looked down at his feet in embarrassment, before replying: " Ch… uhm, Chandler always does my laundry."

Rachel was just about to comment on that, when the door suddenly opened quite abruptly.

" Alright, I've had it up to here with you, Mr. You're coming with me, right now!" Phoebe announced irately, while defiantly marching over to Chandler.

" No, Pheebs, please I do…ow… jesus!" the man in question exclaimed, when his friend roughly pulled him up from the chair, by his ear.

" Now, come on, keep walking!" she urged, pushing him forward with one hand, while keeping his arm pinned behind his back with the other.

" Uhm… Pheebs, honey. I think you should let him go, he seems to be in pain," Rachel tried carefully, not really wanting to push Phoeb's buttons any more.

" You keep out of this, Rachel Karen Green! This is between me and Chandler Muriel Bing!" the feisty blonde declared, right before promptly walking out of the apartment, slamming the door in her wake.

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.**

" Oh wow… she was middle-naming people again, she must really be angry with him," Joey commented matter-of-factly, when he'd finally finished his sandwich.

" Yeah… actually, what's going on between those two? Are they in a fight or something? I mean…you gotta admit it's at least a little bit suspicious, that Chandler suddenly wanted to spend the night in here."

Joey said nothing, only raised his eyebrows and started tapping his pointer finger against his chin.

" Hey, Rach?"

" Yeah?"

" Yeah… here's the thing, when you use words like: " suspicious" , I don't really know what that means.

" Oh… okay, well how do I rephrase this? Oh yeah… it's weird, Joey! Weird for Chandler to want to stay over with us, all of a sudden."

" Oh… oh yeah, yeah it is actually… Now that you mention it, he was acting quite strange last night… and he seemed to be all weird around Phoebe earlier…" the actor brought out contemplatively, still having his hand under his chin.

" So… what can we deduce from that? Hmm, the way I see it : either they're having a fight or… or, or, or… oh my god!"

" What?! What, what, what?!"

" Well, maybe… there's something more between them than friendship, now," Rachel stated carefully.

" What, do you mean… that they're like… doin' it, or something? That… that's just not possible: I mean: Chandler and Phoebe?! That's just, like… ya know, not... possible."

Rachel chuckled, then agreed: " Yeah, yeah you're probably right. I mean that's almost as ridiculous as the idea of you and me sleeping together."

" Hey! That wouldn't be ridiculous, come on! I'm a handsome man, you're a hot girl, we could get it on!" Joey shouted indignantly.

" Oh, Joey sweetie, I like you a lot, but not in that way," his friend retorted, as she casually began fumbling with the collar of his shirt.

" Oh yeah? Well… I…," the Italian began, then got a sly grin on his face, when he saw the solution to the problem.

" How you doin'?" he asked flirtatiously.

" Oh, Joey, honey, that's not gonna work on me. I'm not completely stupid, you know," Rachel threw back with a slight smile, right before retreating back into her bedroom.

" Well, it was worth a shot," Joey shrugged, before heading back into his own room, for a short nap.


	18. Chapter 18

While Joey was enjoying a quick revitalizing nap, Phoebe was still pulling Chandler along with her, slowly releasing him, once they were inside their apartment.

" Now, sit!" she commanded, pointing over to the couch.

" Phoebe…" Chandler began, but never got the chance to finish his sentence.

" No, nuhu, sit down and don't argue."

" Fine," he ultimately huffed, before flopping down on the couch, which was still standing in its unusual place.

" Good," Phoebe smiled triumphantly, before she herself took her place next to her friend.

" Now, we're gonna sit here and talk about what happened, like two responsible adults, you understand? What's your problem anyway, Bing, huh?"

Chandler stared at her with wide eyes, not believing she'd just asked him that.

" Oh uhm… I don't know, you tell me. What could possibly be the problem? Hmm, let's see: we're friends… friends who kissed each other… twice. But, you know, that happens every day. I don't really see anything wrong with that," he shot back sarcastically.

" Oh come on, Chandler, relax."

" No, I won't relax, okay?! I don't know how to deal with this, Phoebe! I mean: one minute we're in a car, just talking and making each other laugh, the next we're kissing like our lives depended on it. Then, the next day, you see absolutely no harm in repeating that mistake!" Chandler bellowed, while rising up from the couch and nervously flailing his arms about.

" Well, may I just point out to you the little fact that it wasn't me who tried to make those smooches more "European"! That was all you're doing, on both occasions, Chandler! And I just want you t… Wait a minute: you thought it was a mistake?" Phoebe asked, suddenly growing a lot more quiet, when all of her friend's words, had finally registered themselves in her mind.

" Well, yeah, of course. D.. don't you?"

The blonde took a minute to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat, then confidently replied: " Yeah… yeah totally. I mean: god, I can at least hope we're clear on that. I mean: that first kiss, was just a heat of the moment kind of thing, you know. Add some alcohol to that and you know that we weren't exactly thinking straight at the time. I mean, if I think of all the stupid, emotional gibberish I started rambling off, I'm still embarrassed."

Phoebe ended her rant with a little chuckle, desperately hoping he wouldn't pick up on the fact that she wasn't completely behind all of the stuff she'd just said.

" Yeah, that's right, you're completely right. Heat of the moment, we weren't thinking straight… totally with ya on that one. But… what about the second time around? Why did you kiss me, Phoebe? I just gotta ask this, cause we were both completely sober at the time. I know why I kissed you, but I can't tell for sure what your motives were."

" Oh my god, Chandler! Are you like a bit slow or something?! I kissed you to really stick it to Monica! She was annoying the crap out of me!"

" Oh, well that's a relief, I must say. So, we're on the same page, then?" the " transponster" inquired, not really sure about his confused feelings towards her himself anymore.

" If that page is: our kisses meant nothing, then: yeah."

" Okay, that's uh… that's good."

" That's very good, wanna hug it out?"

" Sure," Chandler stated, beaming at her, before he enveloped her in a warm embrace, involuntarily taking a whiff of her soft, golden hair, hoping to god she wouldn't notice the sharp inhale that went along with that little action.

They enjoyed the comfort of holding each other for a little while longer, then broke off all physical contact, as they both sank back on the sofa.

" Hey, Pheebs?" Chandler began, when he suddenly noticed something.

" Yeah, what's up?"

" What's that on your cheek?" he inquired in concern, lightly grazing the red mark he found there with the tips of his fingers.

Feeling the gentle, pleasant touch to her jaw, Phoebe couldn't manage to repress a soft gasp. Then, realizing how weird that must have sounded, she quickly flinched and tried to play it off as a yelp of pain.

" Oh, Pheebs. I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

" Yeah.. yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing. That's just where your dearest ex-girlfriend hit me, is all."

" Oh my god, she actually hit you?!" her friend cried in sheer indignance, suddenly feeling a small surge of anger rush through him.

" Yeah, but don't worry, I hit her right back," the masseuse retorted, displaying a small smirk, at the memory of striking Monica in her smug face.

Chandler produced a quiet chortle, then said: " I thought you might have. What caused her to do that to you?"

" Oh, well, I basically told her Richard was a fucker and that really set her off, apparently."

" Well… that's understandable, seeing as she you know, " loves" him," Chandler quipped, as he used the air quotes, causing his friend to smile.

" How do you do that?" she asked him, after shaking her head.

" Do what?"

" Turn everything into a joke. No matter what you're going through, you always manage to lighten the place up."

" Oh… well, actually it's nothing but a defense mechanism. I started it, when my parents got divorced and sadly I haven't been able to quit since."

" Well, you don't have to quit, it's part of who you are. I like you like this. I like it better, than when you're being all sad, like yesterday. Your aura really gave off some bad vibes in the previous week, even to the extent that I couldn't possibly manage to cleanse it. It was all murky, I couldn't get through all that fog," Phoebe declared sincerely, while placing her hand atop of his.

" Oh, I'm sorry, I was being such a pathetic jerk off, Phoebe, but it's just, you know… when the person you thought you were going to marry, leaves you, it's pretty hard to be all positive. I'm feeling a little better now, but I'm not sure how long that's gonna last."

" I know, I know, I understand. You know, in a way it's a lot like a mourning process: you have to really fully accept, that they're gone to really get on with your life. You know… first you're all like: no, my mom didn't just put her head in the oven and di… Oh, never mind. All I'm saying is… that I've been there… in some strange analogical kind of way," the blonde threw back, almost unconsciously drawing small circles on the back of his hand.

" How did you cope?" Chandler asked suddenly, after a slight comfortable pause.

" What?"

" I've always wanted to ask you this, cause you seem so though all the time: how did you cope when your mom died?"

" Oh, well… when you have to live on the streets, you kinda learn to focus on other things, besides your mother's suicide. I had my daily troubles: getting money, getting food, avoiding pimps, trying not to get raped by the drunk hobo's at night…" Phoebe rambled, causing Chandler to give her a worried look.

" Oh god… that sounds so terrible. I'm sorry, Pheebs. You know, I never really gave that much thought to your background, but now I'm thinking maybe I should have," he declared softly, as he tightened his grip on her hand.

" Oh, it's okay, that's in the past now, Chandler and I dealt with it just fine. Living out on the streets really made me stronger as a personality. Looking back on it, I can actually think of some fun times. You know: In the fall I used to have my usual spot, under this tree in the park. I just loved the way the leaves changed and the way they would come falling down so unexpectedly, when I was in the middle of playing a song. That guitar was my only possession and I was only too glad that no one tried to take that away from me."

Chandler laughed loudly, then shook his head and said: " You know, Pheebs. You're quite something."

" Whatever the hell is that supposed to mean?" the blonde shot back offendedly.

" Hey, relax, I didn't mean anything bad. As the matter of fact: I admire you, Phoebe."

" You uh, you do?"

" Yeah, I mean: if it would've been me, I think I wouldn't have survived for two days, but you…"

Phoebe tactfully ignored the compliment, then taunted: " Yeah, you're right, you couldn't possibly live out on the streets, you little rich boy."

Chandler was just about to say something, when all of a sudden, the door burst open and Joey came storming in, a blue towel wrapped around his naked form and his hair soaking wet.

" Oh, oh thank god, you're both here. I've gotta ask you something: you guys happen to know how to get a chick out of a shower drain?"


End file.
